Autistic self-hatred

6:30 in to the first vid makes me remember a particularly challenging chime as I hit puberty whilst reading an AWFUL lot of SF and listening to a lot of Black Sabbath. (Surprisingly inciteful and moral lyrics they wrote back than, actually.) 

1: I figured out that the evidence suggested that nearly everyone else was telepathic except me.

2: I swiftly identified that as delusory thinking of the paranoid type, and resolved to ignore the "authentic feel" of it.

A technique learned as a result of smoking large amounts of pot "to see what it did to me" as a kid, and maybe a few other things too. 

IF you aren't totally bonkers, you can work out which compulsive thoughts are "real", using logic and probaility and which are not, and then choose WILFUL IGNORANCE coupled with WILFUL INACTION..

It works as a defence against transitory mental illness (I.E. large doses of Lysergic acid obtained from seeds you ate a couple of hours ago..), government propaganda, abusive family, abusive business & deals a whole range of psychic & legal assaults.

"Wilful ignorance" is VERY different from "learned ignorance", and as it's name suggests, it is an active process, that is not self-sustaining like the other kind, and regularly needs to be reviewed and refreshed. 

It also works when the army has made you climb several hundred feet up something steep, you've had a little forced pause and looked down... As fear is demanding that you "DO SOMETHING", logic and your own common sense tell you that you are in fact perfectly fine where you are, and can stay there for as long as you need, so the safest move is none at all, whilst you summon up the WILL to IGNORE ignore the fear, and concentrate on getting to a better place. OF course one cannot ignore the oaf with three stripes asking "if you are alright", so you bellow back, something like, "I just needed a pause, give me a moment" and knowing that they woudn't have sent me up here if it was impossible, you finish the climb. I was though at that point, effing terrified, and only WILFUL IGNORANCE saved me from wussing out, and missing out on the abseiling into a  deep void, that followed.

When you think you understand the basics of physics & probability it's quite easy to "trust the equipment" on the way down, it was much harder to trust my own ability on the way up.

6:30 in to the first vid makes me remember a particularly challenging chime as I hit puberty whilst reading an AWFUL lot of SF and listening to a lot of Black Sabbath. (Surprisingly inciteful and moral lyrics they wrote back than, actually.) 

1: I figured out that the evidence suggested that nearly everyone else was telepathic except me.

2: I swiftly identified that as delusory thinking of the paranoid type, and resolved to ignore the "authentic feel" of it.

A technique learned as a result of smoking large amounts of pot "to see what it did to me" as a kid, and maybe a few other things too. 

IF you aren't totally bonkers, you can work out which compulsive thoughts are "real", using logic and probaility and which are not, and then choose WILFUL IGNORANCE coupled with WILFUL INACTION..

It works as a defence against transitory mental illness (I.E. large doses of Lysergic acid obtained from seeds you ate a couple of hours ago..), government propaganda, abusive family, abusive business & deals a whole range of psychic & legal assaults.

"Wilful ignorance" is VERY different from "learned ignorance", and as it's name suggests, it is an active process, that is not self-sustaining like the other kind, and regularly needs to be reviewed and refreshed. 

It also works when the army has made you climb several hundred feet up something steep, you've had a little forced pause and looked down... As fear is demanding that you "DO SOMETHING", logic and your own common sense tell you that you are in fact perfectly fine where you are, and can stay there for as long as you need, so the safest move is none at all, whilst you summon up the WILL to IGNORE ignore the fear, and concentrate on getting to a better place. OF course one cannot ignore the oaf with three stripes asking "if you are alright", so you bellow back, something like, "I just needed a pause, give me a moment" and knowing that they woudn't have sent me up here if it was impossible, you finish the climb. I was though at that point, effing terrified, and only WILFUL IGNORANCE saved me from wussing out, and missing out on the abseiling into a  deep void, that followed.

When you think you understand the basics of physics & probability it's quite easy to "trust the equipment" on the way down, it was much harder to trust my own ability on the way up.