Hi there
I'm posting this in the forums because I'm struggling with low mood with the knowledge that the DWP are going to reassess me soon for ESA-UC.
But the thing I've come to realise in the past year or two is that I seem to have a high profile of Persistent Drive for Autonomy (PDA) - I much prefer this term as it's not a trait of mine that I think needs to be corrected.
Whenever my internal/external, home life/outdoor life balance gets disrupted by uncontrolled and increased demand on my time from other people, I most definitely go into an aggressive non-compliant mode. It's for me very much internalised though - I rarely explode verbally whenever the resulting anxiety that I experience gets too much to handle but there are definitely internal thoughts there of me wanting to physically kick or shove someone , especially if they come across as selfish and narcissistic.
I was in a hospital once coming out of an outpatient appointment and had already planned and decided upon which exit route to take out of the building.
Suddenly a nurse behind the reception shouted in my ear that there was a short cut "this way" to leave the building. And I just ignored her because I just didn't care for her interrupting me and trying assert some kind of fake authority. If I wanted help I would ask for it. And then she started moaning that she was "only trying to help" which made me even more demand-avoidant of her.
I wanted to ask about other people's experiences and opinions about PDA and what has helped them to improve the resulting anxiety which arises from the conflict between their capabilities and the demands that are placed upon them.
It seems to me in many situations that the scope for negotiation and resolution, especially in the world of work and the DWP, is becoming narrower.