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Work Anxieties

Prof

I was here a long time ago. I found this community such a helpful resource and it helped me through some of the darkest parts of my life.

Five years ago I was a mental wreck. I heard voices, I was depressed, at times I didn’t want to be here anymore and I went through the biggest fight of my life and now I am in a better place mentally. I’ve managed to get a job, I work as a personal assistant in a firm, good job actually mostly involves me typing, sometimes I’ve got to answer the phone which I find difficult but will do if I have to. Luckily there is another woman there who will usually answer the phone calls.

This last year the firm has expanded. There’s more people on my floor now, doing much the same job as me, some are constantly on the phone and I’m finding this environment different to how it was when I started ten months ago. It’s noisy now, a lot of talking all day. Even when people aren’t on the phone they talk amongst themselves and recently a new girl is sat next to me at her own desk and she’s started making conversation with me. I’m flattered that she even wants to talk, most people tend to ignore me if they can. I’m not big on talking – autism has made me very withdrawn to be honest. But this girl talks to me every day now. I feel bad because she’s giving it her all talking about the weather, her plans for the future, asking about me and I only reply with short sentences or yes and no answers. I want to talk to her more but I don’t know how to. I’m used to short conversations and short one worded answers to questions.

This is one of my worst fears at work come true. Smalltalk. A busier environment. These are all things my anxiety made me over think originally and now it’s actually happened and is happening every week day is becoming a struggle for me.

During the day I’ll take breaks, quickly go outside and just stand there for five and breathe, the bosses are fine with me doing this. One of my bosses, Suzanne, is really nice to me and understanding of my autism. I think someone she knows has it as she told me she doesn’t but has lived direct experience, so I guess maybe a child of hers has it.

I have thought of talking to her about this and my worries but I don’t want to cause a fuss and also I don’t think there’s much can be done. I can’t force everyone of the 6th floor just because I’m autistic.

I worry this will begin to trigger my mental health problems again. I never want to go to that place again... but I worry the stress will set it off again. It’s been five years. Five good years without any mental problems. I’ve been in a good place all that time and I don’t want anything ruining it for me.

I’ve got to get to work now so if anyone replies, thanks in advance, and I will reply later when I’m home.

Parents

  • I spent years working in open plan offices (before I was diagnosed autistic) and they are a nightmare, so much noise and so many distractions. At the time I couldn't understand how anyone was able to focus on their work in that environment. I certainly couldn't and my mental health suffered massively. I used to beg my managers to be able to go and work in a quiet place, such as an unused meeting room, but they were unsympathetic.

    The autistic monotropic brain needs to focus on one thing and cannot effectively filter out external noise. Every noise is an distraction which will likely have a detrimental effect on the quality of your work. Every interruption makes it hard for you to switch back to the task you were doing, that is autistic inertia.

    You desperately need some noise cancelling headphones, to try and block out as much of the noise as possible.

    They will also act as a good visual deterrent to others. Headphones on - busy working, don't approach or interrupt. Headphones off - approachable. When you know the attempted small talk will only happen when you actively take off your headphones that should help reduce the anxiety.

    Small talk with colleagues isn't part of your job description. Far too much of it happens when people are being paid to work and it is a real bugbear of mine. Fine if that's how they want to spend their breaks but not when they're supposed to be working. If employers had lots more autistic employees then productivity would increase because we do not spend our days chatting about nothing, we get on with our work!

    Good luck. It's great that you have an understanding boss. That will help you to request the reasonable adjustments you need to function at your best in the workplace.

Reply

  • I spent years working in open plan offices (before I was diagnosed autistic) and they are a nightmare, so much noise and so many distractions. At the time I couldn't understand how anyone was able to focus on their work in that environment. I certainly couldn't and my mental health suffered massively. I used to beg my managers to be able to go and work in a quiet place, such as an unused meeting room, but they were unsympathetic.

    The autistic monotropic brain needs to focus on one thing and cannot effectively filter out external noise. Every noise is an distraction which will likely have a detrimental effect on the quality of your work. Every interruption makes it hard for you to switch back to the task you were doing, that is autistic inertia.

    You desperately need some noise cancelling headphones, to try and block out as much of the noise as possible.

    They will also act as a good visual deterrent to others. Headphones on - busy working, don't approach or interrupt. Headphones off - approachable. When you know the attempted small talk will only happen when you actively take off your headphones that should help reduce the anxiety.

    Small talk with colleagues isn't part of your job description. Far too much of it happens when people are being paid to work and it is a real bugbear of mine. Fine if that's how they want to spend their breaks but not when they're supposed to be working. If employers had lots more autistic employees then productivity would increase because we do not spend our days chatting about nothing, we get on with our work!

    Good luck. It's great that you have an understanding boss. That will help you to request the reasonable adjustments you need to function at your best in the workplace.

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