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I am worried about my son's MH

NAS87080

I am worried about my son's mental wellbeing. He is 18 and therefore classed as an adult. He says he's fine and will not seek help. I've seen the GP and he says there's nothing he can do without my son going to see him first. My son sleeps all day, rarely eats and never leaves the house. He was diagnosed ASD in May but refusing to engage with the diagnosis. All the doors I've tried just say he has to be in a place where he can accept help and he's clearly not there yet. So I just sit back and do nothing???

Parents

  • Hi, It’s hard to judge without knowing your son. But one possibility is also that he needs this time to recover. It can be very exhausting, constantly masking and trying to fit in etc. It’s not uncommon to actually feel less able to do this once you find out you are autistic- I experienced this to some degree- I wanted to mask less, I also felt validated and felt less of a need to push myself to socialise etc. Getting the autism diagnosis was very positive for me but it also brings a lot of confusion and uncertainty with it. It is possible that your son needs to retreat and take some time away from everything to get back some energy- this can take a long time. It is hard to know when to push yourself to start doing more again. It is difficult to know what the best thing to do is- if it is autistic burnout doing more too soon will make it worse, but for depression the advice is the opposite.
    Also  wanting to be alone does not necessarily mean he is unhappy. Not eating much is more concerning- do you know why? Is it because he is reluctant to leave room? Or no appetite? Digestive issues? Stress? Issues with eating are also very common amongst autistic individuals.

    These are just some of the possibilities- there are so many reasons why your son might be acting this way.

    If this is autism related, the GP probably will not be able to provide much help- there is not much support for autistic adults and almost none of the mental health support is tailored to autistic people. 

  • in reply to Ann :)

    This might be difficult but he might just need time. Let him know you are there for him and what his options are. What kind of help do you think he should get? I saw a lot of professionals over the years - psychiatrists, physicologists, therapists, different dietitians, eating disorder specialists. Their ‘support’ mostly didn’t  help or even made it worse. It took years until finally my dietitian approached me that she had been suspecting for a while that i might be autistic and could ask for a referral- my dietitian in general was a huge support- not just with eating but just with my mental health in general. I went through a lot of difficult times and in the end what helped most is getting the autism diagnosis (but it took months to start figuring this out and I am still learning), changing my situation (moving, becoming a student again) and having someone thst believed in me. It helped a lot too to reach out on this forum- maybe your son could join?

  • in reply to Ann :)

    Yes, it was a counsellor who suggested to me I might be autistic. It was meeting someone similar to me at a mental health drop-in centre which led to me pursuing my bipolar diagnosis.

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