I'm quite new to my diagnosis but have been finding the idea of monotropism quite helpful.
In parts it's brilliant to be hyperfocused on things at work, it can mean i am relentless is purusing ambitions, and personal goals in my work life. I naturally feel quite tired from being like this at work, that amount of focus can be exhausting, but i do enjoy it, perhaps even need it to stay regulated.
I find that when i'm not at work i struggle so hard to switch my brain onto a different track that i don't get any mental rest, or what i do get is often poor qualitity because i'm still cognitively working on things in my mind. It also makes it really hard to be present as a person in other spaces, for eg with family and partner, or friends. I don't like this about myself and have always tried my best to suppress it or hide it.
I've had a week or so to myself in the house alone, while my partner and kids are away. I thought it would be restful but i'm completely all over the place. I'm either slipping into work without noticing, or pacing around in a bit of a disscociative state, not really noticing any of my basic needs like water and food for most of the day. I feel like a distracted hot mess unable to relax what-so-ever.
Does anyone relate to this?
When i was younger I used to call it the "guilt chip", like i felt i should be working on my work stuff all the time. But perhaps this is part of being autistic.
I'm wondering what sort of things are good to help with mental switches like this. How do you get mental/cognitive rest and turn off your (over)active brain?
My therapist has been getting me to work on "third space" activities to recognise that i've done enough for the day. But i think these behaviours are very engrained and it's going to take a lot of time to be more flexible on this.
What do you do?