Monotropism? How to get a rest from your overactive brain?

i dunno, i was more chilled and lazy. but focused on the stuff i wanted to do i guess, work wasnt what i wanted to do lol i wanted to play video games, shut myself in generally.

i dunno, your mindset seems good and alot of older gens would praise it and say you have been raised right. but if you want to chill from it, perhaps you need to achieve certain goals first to act as checkpoints?

like id say if you have got home ownership paid mortagage off and perhaps got a certain amount of savings then id say maybe at that point your at a very easy checkpoint where it doesnt matter what you do as everything forward is taking care of itself, then you can safely let down some burden. 

work and goal based mindset still can lead to relaxation, as you can make it your work goal to afford some fancy holidays. like a guided japanese tour! that would be cool no?

I do chanting, meditation and tai chi / chi Kung exercises and find them very effective. Singing probably works as well as chanting. You can’t sing and think at the same time especially if you do it in a language you don’t understand.

Third space is taking 5-10 mins between modes of life to reflect and acknowledge what you did, what you achieved, accepting it was enough. Then thinking about your next mode and how you want to show up

Alcohol is sadly quite effective I agree, and I happen to really like the taste of different beers. But for obvious reasons as you point out I’m trying not to use this as a tool 

I drink in moderation 1-2 on a weekend which helps me to relax a bit but I’m still in search of quality rest (if it even exists)

the mind is a pretty chaotic place really, giving it side missions, yes I can see that

Oh that’s interesting and pretty alternative!

I’m sorry to hear, things sound tough for you at the moment.

I often find similar - that if I manage to get off the thinking loop of work I have other thinking loops that replace it - thinking about chronic pain struggles or struggles with relationships, or something just mundane stuff

I’m starting to think it’s just a thinking style I have to accept and work with. It’s been labelled as rumination in the past but it’s not always negative. I think perseveration seems to describe it really well. Kind of like a divergent, simultaneous, Interogation of a subject.

music is very powerful, definitely - I’d like to listen to more of that.

Thanks autonomistic,

good tips!

mindfulness is err, let’s say a work in progress for me. it waxes and wanes and I continue to try.

Sometimes when I come out of my mental space it’s like getting out of a swimming pool after falling in, needing to gasp for air, having to dry off and warm up and get the water out of my nose. It’s definitely a process.

I hope this third space work can help with this too.

Hi homebird,

I do a lot of those things already, but I don’t have a hobby like puzzles to distract me. It’s something that’s been suggested oftenly but I’ve never found something to latch onto like that.

It’s a good thought

I've heard that mindfulness and meditation are really useful. Plenty of great resources on the internet to help with this.

Woof.

Down boy!

Yes - this is what I have said, albeit without the word dog.

Are you suggesting that I am, also, a dog?

Please disambiguate for Number.

The difficulty is - im like a dog - I can't throw my own ball.

Sometimes I can wake up and think "here we go again" because it's so blooming tiring being awake with a full head. I find meditation helps. When I do it regularly,  I don't wake up feeling like this and become more aware of my thought patterns through the day. The benefits accumulated without being really obvious. I accept now if it wasn't one topic it'd be another. It can be anything and everything that I get stuck on. Topics of interest or hyper focus at work is just as tiring as the negative stuff because there's no off switch. I also feel lost if my brain hasn't got anything to chew on. No amount of cbt helps with this because it's how my brain is wired. 

But yes, 20 minutes of meditation each day can ever so slightly take the edge off for me. I find i can "centre" myself a bit more outsude of meditation now. What are third space activities?

In the old days, I would simply get drunk.  These days, I find physical exhaustion and lack of sleep the most reliable way to find some peace.  I do not advocate either of these approaches.

It is hard having a driven, and often chaotic mind.  I'm trying not to tether it as much as I once did.....I now just throw it a ball to chase in a specific direction - new and inventive directions.  It doesn't always work....but I'm trying.

In terms of what you have written above - my answer is Yes !  I totally relate to what you have written and also find that a week or so to myself always results in my being a "distracted hot mess."

I chant although you could sing.

in particular I try to do 8 minutes of chanting followed by 8 minutes of meditation followed by 8 minutes of tai chi / chi Kung exercises 4 times a day 6am / 12pm / 6pm / 12am. Life inevitably gets in the way but even once or twice a day helps

I struggle to switch off my brain. It always seems to be on to go thinking about everything when it should be resting, has caused insomnia unfortunately but still won't switch off. I'm not sure my brain has a sleep mode. It's normally busy worrying me sick about my health, my family, the future, working and all that sort of stuff.

Listening to music can help but again it doesn't help it switch off but can alter the thinking, make it less self destructive. I started lightly self harming a while ago, stupid thing to do but it does actually help.

I've also got a therapist now who I talk to twice a week and she is helping me more than I thought she would.

Autonomistic said:

It can also help a lot to write things down as soon as the thought comes to you. If you happen to think of a way to tackle a work problem or something you need to remember to do then write it down straight away. Then it is out of your mind, you don't need to keep that thought in working memory any more and you can once again focus on the current task.

I forgot to add that it helps to organise the way you write them down. You don't want to end up with loads of scraps of paper with random thoughts in no meaningful order.

You could keep them organised in a notebook or diary, or as a document on your computer. Whatever system you use needs to ensure those notes still mean something when you get to working on that particular task.

These are all great techniques that work for me.

The one other thing I do when I have a more defined work / home balance is to have a "ritual" that marks the boundary from work after which I stop checking emails.

These days a lot of my work is in renovating apartments (mostly managing teams, buying materials and sourcing new projects etc) but lately I have been doing a lot of the restoration work of a really old apartment by hand as my team are working well on other projects with minimal supervision.

I love to finish at the end of the day, grab a shower and open a big bottle of ice cold beer - the sound of the beer opening is the point when I feel my shoulders relax and I know the dirt and dust of the day is over and I'm going to have some me time. It is my ritual that works and as a bonus I get to share a frosty beer with my wife (nice as it is over 30C most days here).

I think instaling work stuff only on a separate phone/laptop is pretty important and keeping it in its allocated hours helps with this. You also need to take a firm line with your employer of not working out of hours without pay. Not easy if you are a manager though.

The sinking sensation of a work call / email coming in at 8pm and sucking you back into that world is the worst feeling in the day sometimes so you have to put barriers up to prevent this,

My thoughts on how to make a monotropic brain work productively.

Firstly and obviously recognise that a monotropic brain will work best if able to focus on one thing at a time.

That's not always easy and I believe it's something that AuDHD people struggle with a lot, turning off that overactive mind.

Mindfulness techniques can help, to notice when your thoughts are drifting and bring them back to the current task. I'm not talking about the 'focus on breathing' type of mindful exercises, although I accept they can help some people.

It can help if you can set aside specific times for specific tasks. I find that if time permits and the task is significant then setting aside the whole day helps enormously. Our difficulty switching from one thing to another is known as Autistic Inertia.

It can also help a lot to write things down as soon as the thought comes to you. If you happen to think of a way to tackle a work problem or something you need to remember to do then write it down straight away. Then it is out of your mind, you don't need to keep that thought in working memory any more and you can once again focus on the current task.