Inpatient care

I’ve had two spells on a psychiatric ward and it’s absolutely the last place an autistic person should be. It is noisy, unpredictable, brightly lit, often aggressive (mainly other patients but some staff too), a total sensory nightmare around things like fabrics/food/sounds etc, unstructured, chaotic, controlling, and there’s precious little actual psychiatric help. I never witnessed the physical abuse which was shown in the two documentaries on the subject in Bolton and south Manchester, but emotionally I did feel very very vulnerable and controlled in ways which could be interpreted as emotional abuse. 

I haven't been to one myself but I knew someone who was when she was 15 - said she had more trauma from her month or so there than what she had originally that put her in there.

I used to feel like I needed someone to “look after me”. But no one could. Thoughts of being in hospital seemed like a suitable option. A few suicide attempts put me there but only for a night. I am now thankful that this is all it was. The occasions were cries for help. Take away the emotional distress. Now I make my “safe place”, my home and I am thankful for this. I am now of the opinion that except for a few, we are the best people to help ourselves. Surround yourself with what brings you comfort and happiness. For me these are nice smells, pretty things, music, my bed, nice food x

I'm sorry to hear that you're so overwhelmed and not coping.

Whilst the idea of having someone else take control might seem appealing the reality might be very different. Do you really want to be somewhere that you have absolutely no control over your environment, the constant noise, the bright lights, the people.

There have been a few undercover documentaries on TV, exposing how autistic patients are treated in these places.

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/locked-away-our-autism-scandal-dispatches

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001ckxr/panorama-undercover-hospital-patients-at-risk

A couple of articles you may find interesting:

https://emergentdivergence.com/2023/07/27/i-was-an-autistic-psychiatric-inpatient-heres-what-i-would-change-in-the-mental-health-system/

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/feb/17/national-scandal-nhs-local-authorities-vulnerable-people

The Mental Health Act Code of Practice, specifically, Chapter 20 Section 20 says:

"Compulsory treatment in a hospital setting is rarely likely to be helpful for a person with autism, who may be very distressed by even minor changes in routine and is likely to find detention in hospital anxiety provoking. Sensitive, person-centred support in a familiar setting will usually be more helpful. Wherever possible, less restrictive alternative ways of providing the treatment or supporting a person should be found. The specialist expertise and skills of staff should be regularly audited, particularly the ability to recognise social and health needs, and specialist communication skills."

The above is in relation to compulsory treatment, rather than voluntary as you are considering. I have quoted it because it gives an indication of how such an environment may harm rather than help.

I hope you can get the support you need in the most suitable environment for you.

I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation LadyBug.

You know yourself better than anyone else does and you know what will be best for you. Psych wards aren't for everybody but sometimes they do help some people. I've not been detained or a voluntary admission but my sister was.. she found the first time was horrible because she was detained. The second and third time she went in voluntary because life was getting too much for her to cope.

If you have a number or email you could talk to someone at the psych ward to see what they think might be the best option for you? That's what my sister started doing in the end. Sometimes they recommended she stay for a short time other times they gave her advice on how to cope if they felt she didn't need to do in.

I hope things get better for you soon LadyBug.

I was for a short while after a suicide attempt. It was the worst week of my life to that point. No one actually helped me and I was pretty much crying 24/7. 

Last year when my anxiety got really bad and I couldn't even bear to eat anything or do anything, I reached a point where I would have been okay with trying it because I was so desperate; even with my bad memories of the last time and fear of being in hospital with covid around. I told a psych person in A&E when I got dragged there and she said that even though I hadn't eaten in days at that point and was constantly suicidal, there were so few beds available that I would basically be trapped in a bed in the regular hospital for at least a couple of weeks while waiting for a bed to open up on the psych unit. In the end, a psychiatrist gave me some diazepam and that temporarily killed my anxiety enough that I could eat something and slowly start recovering. It has taken a really long time and been really difficult, but I'm now at about 70% of what I was 2 years ago. 

Maybe being an inpatient again would have really helped. Maybe it would have broken me for good. 

Hi, I was inpatient in Germany for 8 weeks a few years ago (before knowing that I was autistic) and it wasn’t that helpful- thinking back I think it was just too overwhelming with so many people, group sessions etc and I still don’t understand how they could not have realised that I might be autistic- I remember everyone else starting to improve after 3-4 weeks while I started to feel worse- I kept saying how different I felt etc. It definitely took me out of life for a while though and it felt like living in a bubble.

I think it really depends on where you go and how accommodating they are. It was suggested a few years later that maybe I should go inpatient again  and this time I visited a different place (was living in a different city) and I knew at time that I might be autistic (was awaiting diagnosis). I decided not to go in the end and this was the right decision for me. However at this inpatient place they were very accommodating and talked about what adjustments they could make to maximise chances of it working- eg. Not having to attend group sessions (at least not at first) etc.

I personally don’t think the inpatient time I had was useful. It destroyed the relationship with my mum (they kindof blamed things on us being too close and her being overprotective) which took years to recover. It was overwhelming, I felt misunderstood and stressed out, and they failed to realise I was autistic and that this explained a lot of the challenges I was facing (including around food). Still I was lucky as at least I was allowed out when I wanted and had some ways to get down time alone (you also often have to share a room).

I think it really depends on where you go inpatient - if you are considering, I would make sure to talk through what adjustments  they can put in place to minimise overwhelm, sensory overload etc. Like you say it does give you a way to put your live on pause for a while. 

I personally would never go back inpatient- The second time I was so extremely burnt out (and underweight as consequence), I had some time away from work ans just recovered in my home which was much better for me. Could you talk to your gp for some time off from work? I’m not familiar with your situation and whether your home is a place where you would feel able to take time off. For me it is possible to take a break from everything within my home and this is much better than inpatient. 

i guess the main advantage of going inpatient is to ‘take you out of your life’ if it is not positive for you to take a break with your home. The therapy is more intensive, but  you would have to make sure that it is actually taylored to your needs (it wasn’t for me which made it not useful and possibly even damaging). For some people it can really help- there was a women there with me who was being abused by her family in her home and for her going inpatient was a life changer as it took her away from that environment and gave her the space and strength she needed to start cutting ties and get away.