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(Rant) ...What exactly IS "social media"?

imdonenow

Here I am again, back on NAS to share yet another...depressing feeling of mine in sadness and rant.

The other day ago, when I had to comment on an artist's profile from DeviantArt, saying about why that guy doesn't want to say anything to me, I got told by another person, "I suggest giving out context, because this site isn't really social media." Now that that's been said...  I ask myself, is NOTHING on the internet ever considered "social media" anyway or anymore? I ALWAYS thought it was the case...because I usually post hundreds of comments on DeviantArt, speaking perfectly normal about what I enjoy and genuinely think conversations are legitimate there, but then OTHERS say, "No it's a site for art sharing, not talking and making friendships and all that stuff."

...Why? Why did this had to happen on me? As if it's really that "true" after all? But then I feel, even if I DID choose to attempt writing comments, make conversations and build new friendships with others on REAL social sites like Facebook, Instagram and even the grand YouTube itself, thinking it COULD work this time, there STILL would be people saying into my face with lashment, "They are not social sites either. You are just wasting your energy and time. Grow up, pal."

Sigh... Whatever I say and do, no one cares or believes me in even the slightest, as if I'm the main jerk of all jerks, when I'm not even trying to be. All I want is just normal and nice conversations for things I like (and NOT the things I don't know or don't interest me much, such as the real life sense which ALWAYS has to plonk me back in for no reason, since I only know gaming as my all-time specialty), and make new friends which, of course, is far from easy, put it that way, no matter how kind or careful I try in the first place. What is it with people in general and all their mixed up natures and so on? Why is this whole world so mad, cruel and unfair? Why am I so unlucky?

I'm sorry, but I had to let my own feelings out again, especially when something is not going right for me at certain times like this. I know that everyone gets problems as well, but how does it even feel to be yourself, being born in this imperfect world with nothing and think that you're not worthy of anything? I always felt that even over the years, and it still gets to me. But again... DeviantArt NOT considered "social"? Come on, it's the only simple place I do for talks nowadays, but how unlucky me to not get enough attention for things I like that often, which again is Pokemon. P.O.K.E.M.O.N. If I went back to YouTube again after my old account departure from it LONG ago in 2010...maybe it WOULD be a much better chance of receiving replies and make possible new friends for things I like EARLY? But, on the big minus side, I know that YouTube has extreme hatred and negativity all over, with a lot of mean and sarcastic commenters and video authors taking place. Sigh...

...What am I supposed to do, say, act or whatever? I tried all I can for so long...and it's nothing, basically. But sorry that I had to make a rant here, yet it still means well and pays off. Ty to be easy on me...

Parents

  • I have never been a member of DeviantArt, but I know my son was for a time. I don't think he ever looked upon it as a social media platform to converse with other members. It was just somewhere to share his art.

    Have you considered trying Discord? Whilst I have no personal experience of what it is like, it is possible that there may be members there that share the same interests as you and are happy to engage in lengthy conversations about those interests.

    However, whatever social media platform you use, I think you should be prepared for the fact that the people you engage with might want to talk about other things too... Things that may not always interest you. It's all about give and take and learning to compromise.

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly
    Sporadic Sparkly said:
    Have you considered trying Discord? Whilst I have no personal experience of what it is like, it is possible that there may be members there that share the same interests as you and are happy to engage in lengthy conversations about those interests.

    Yes I have tried Discord long ago too, from 2020, and though I still use it, it's only with a couple of my family members and one particular friend - VedranR. The rest of Discord... I did try some game-related servers but soon I got flipped, and even a few bad people there just stupidly said at me with swearing, "please shut up", when I wasn't even rambling on to begin with, nor said something weird but perfectly normal as I always try to do. I felt so horrible when I got told off. Disappointed

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  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly
    Sporadic Sparkly said:
    Have you considered trying Discord? Whilst I have no personal experience of what it is like, it is possible that there may be members there that share the same interests as you and are happy to engage in lengthy conversations about those interests.

    Yes I have tried Discord long ago too, from 2020, and though I still use it, it's only with a couple of my family members and one particular friend - VedranR. The rest of Discord... I did try some game-related servers but soon I got flipped, and even a few bad people there just stupidly said at me with swearing, "please shut up", when I wasn't even rambling on to begin with, nor said something weird but perfectly normal as I always try to do. I felt so horrible when I got told off. Disappointed

Children
  • in reply to imdonenow

    With any social media platform, there will always be members that may say things we consider unkind, upsetting, abusive, etc. I feel the only way of successfully avoiding that is by restricting who can view your content and engage with you (i.e. family and existing friends only). However, the drawback with that is that it removes the opportunity for you to try to establish friendships with other members.

  • in reply to imdonenow
    imdonenow said:
    even a few bad people there just stupidly said at me with swearing, "please shut up", when I wasn't even rambling on to begin with, nor said something weird but perfectly normal as I always try to do. I felt so horrible when I got told off

    Have you tried analysing what you are saying when you get the rejections? Not just the post immediately  before but maybe the half dozen leading up to it.

    You have said yourself that you find this pattern follows you, so I put it to you that you are creating the pattern, whether subconciously or not, and if you can identify it then you have a chance to modify your behaviour to be a better social fit and have more a chance to earn friends.

    I know some people here will tell you to be your authentic self and when you find friends who can accept you for that then it wil all be fine, but you are not finding this to be the case.

    It probably means you need to mask to a degree to be acceptable to others - to stop annoying them to the point when you get kicked off the dicussions or site.

    This part hurts becuase we cannot be out authentic selves and gain social acceptance which is pretty depressing, but if you crave that social interaction then you need to work out what you are doing wrong.

    You may need to get someone you trust to help you with that as it is sometimes difficut to acknowledge our mistakes.

    I know you just came to vent but I'm the one being annoying now and suggesting a way to deal with it. No need to follow my advice of course.