Published on 12, July, 2020
A couple of years ago I had put on weight to over 20 stone and was too reliant on food and drink to escape from life and the feelings of panic and hopelessness. I've managed over the past two years (because of a wake up call from someone close to me) to lose 5 1/2 stone and finally got assessed for Autism (not to keep you in suspense - I have Autism *gasp*!)
I'm a stranger to you so my life story isn't that enthralling I know but a bit of background is important as I want to ask for some help / opinions / stories from the community here.
My main mental health issue is quite extreme anxiety. If things change (anything from new furniture, minor faults in the house up to moving house) I have 6/7 hour long stretches of stomach pain, panic attacks, catastrophising - the usual stuff. It makes me want to retreat back to where I was before, as that was safe at least - if miserable for me and others.
I've tried a lot of stuff to help and it all does a bit (exercise seems to work the best), but I suppose I want to know if anyone had managed to reduce this kind of mindset to a much smaller part of their lives so they could do the things they want to. I feel like the alarm and panic, it's always there in my mind waiting to hurt me, for me to have any doubt - so it can get in there and wrench my insides. It stops me doing stuff, and I'm so tired of it's weight in my life.
Reading this back I think it's more of a post putting a hard few days into words so feel free to ignore or just read if your interested. I hope you are all doing well today and have some happy moments.
I deal with similar problems, although I try to cope by limiting food and end up losing tons of weight. My last disaster was maybe 16 months ago and after stopping eating entirely for a while, I'm still a little ununderweight .
I don't have any solutions for being this dominated by anxiety and panic, but I just wanted to say that you're not alone and I believe we can get past this eventually.
Thanks Tris, it's important like you say to be careful losing weight, it takes a maddeningly long time to do it safely I've found. I've found it good to take it carefully and slowly (but I think I might be getting put of my depth here so I would guess anyone could ask on the forum for signposting if they need info!)
Really appreciate your reply, we will get past it, I guess it'll just be a slow process too!
It can just be a little frustrating sometimes, I can't seem to do anything I find interesting or challenging without that little monster, panic, jabbing me. It's the same for so many people I suppose, just part of being human and it won't beat me!