dealing with change

I am currently struggling ---BIG TIME since my retirement three years ago. Throughout my unsocial life I had depended on my work environment as my focus since beginning work here in the U.K. in 1971. Since my retirement I've  tried volunteer work and been rejected---you see, I am a Yank residing in a small  Norfolk town surrounded by three American Air Force bases. Despite being a townee since 1981, and raising a family, no matter how often I've tried to integrate socially, I experience rejection. I swear, an immigrant gets better treatment. I share responsibility for this with my ND condition with Asperger's (yes, I know it is now a redundant word)  . I don't feel comfortable with exposing my ND condition locally.  I know how the majority of NT people misunderstand and get it wrong. I've humiliated myself many times in the past by misreading engagements with an inappropriate or no response. As a consequence I believe these types of interactions protracted over many years have made me the town's pariah despite my recent attempts to volunteer my time. 

This new change in my reality is taking its toll on me emotionally despite trying to fool myself with acceptance of a status quo position. I do not get any respite within my marriage of 42 years with a wife who gives me constant rebuttal to anything I utter.  I had recently, in another thread, tried to console myself with acceptance of my reality. Who am I kidding? Only myself!  This is grinding me down!  I wish I could offer some tips on how to deal with my situation. Radical changes seem to be the only solutions but I've tolerated this for so many years and have reached a late stage in my life at age 78, where I simply need a rest from it and any further changes---radical or otherwise.

I am currently struggling ---BIG TIME since my retirement three years ago. Throughout my unsocial life I had depended on my work environment as my focus since beginning work here in the U.K. in 1971. Since my retirement I've  tried volunteer work and been rejected---you see, I am a Yank residing in a small  Norfolk town surrounded by three American Air Force bases. Despite being a townee since 1981, and raising a family, no matter how often I've tried to integrate socially, I experience rejection. I swear, an immigrant gets better treatment. I share responsibility for this with my ND condition with Asperger's (yes, I know it is now a redundant word)  . I don't feel comfortable with exposing my ND condition locally.  I know how the majority of NT people misunderstand and get it wrong. I've humiliated myself many times in the past by misreading engagements with an inappropriate or no response. As a consequence I believe these types of interactions protracted over many years have made me the town's pariah despite my recent attempts to volunteer my time. 

This new change in my reality is taking its toll on me emotionally despite trying to fool myself with acceptance of a status quo position. I do not get any respite within my marriage of 42 years with a wife who gives me constant rebuttal to anything I utter.  I had recently, in another thread, tried to console myself with acceptance of my reality. Who am I kidding? Only myself!  This is grinding me down!  I wish I could offer some tips on how to deal with my situation. Radical changes seem to be the only solutions but I've tolerated this for so many years and have reached a late stage in my life at age 78, where I simply need a rest from it and any further changes---radical or otherwise.