I feel like i am really hollow right now.
I stopped using social media because i became overwhelmed by how mean i feel like people are. I felt like no matter where i went on the internet i was rejected by everyone.
But because of that i feel like i've lost all the social incentive that comes with having an interest in anything. There's a few games i play but i don't like to talk about them because i feel like other players and people in the online community do not like me. I've never really liked speaking about my interests because i feel unsafe after doing it.
I don't have any friends at all and i am struggling to even speak to people i come across including my family. When people ask questions about myself i feel like i can't even answer them. I feel like i have no opinion on anything because i feel like it's safer that way. Talking in general feels like more energy than it's worth.
I also need to get a job eventually, i am working with a support provider and they want me to look into a sector of work that i would be interested in working in but i really am struggling even with this. I feel like i don't know skills i should be improving because i don't know what's relevant to me.
I thought this may a symptom of depression so i made a post a little while ago about antidepressants and i decided to go on them. I felt like they were helping for the first few days but i am already feeling like i was before. It's only been about a week and a half so i need to wait about 5 more weeks until they are fully in effect but i already feel like depression is not my issue it's more like
A severe case of "not fitting in" and social anxiety.
I would appreciate any support but i understand this must be difficult to reply to. This is more of a vent post than anything. I am honestly not really sure what's even going on in my life and i am trying to make sense of it.
