Help I think I am autistic but hiding it because I'm scared

I'm sorry to hear you have been getting a rough deal here.

Can I start by asking if there is anything you want help with or are you looking for a place to talk?

We can help here with advice and emotional support but we are not medical professionals who are capable of getting you the sort of help you may need.

IF it is help you are after, can you clarify some things so we can understand your situation better and give more targetted advice please?

You don't need to reply if you are not comfortable - we try to offer a safe and non judgemental space here.

NAS87568 said:

have been misdiagnosed so many times it's unreal with no real support from any services

Can you clarify why you believe you were misdiagnosed?

Could it be your mental illness is making you not want to accept the diagnoses? No disrespect, but as you don't say what the illness is it seems relevant to ask.

Have you tried the online self test for autism?  Note that there are a number of other conditions which share similar characteristics to autism so it is not accurate on its own. The online test is:

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism-test

NAS87568 said:

all my life I have a huge mistrust for mental health professionals

That must make your situation particularly difficult as getting help requires you to have to deal with people you don't trust.

If you could get access to a different group of professionals, would that help?

NAS87568 said:

The stigma around it to ask the question scares me

You can ask freely and anonymusly here.

There are a lot of very intelligent and experienced posters here who can answer anything (within reason) although please use your own judgement before chosing to follow the advice of someone you don't know.

I hope we can make you feel accepted and give you some of the snswers you seek.

I'm sorry to hear you have been getting a rough deal here.

Can I start by asking if there is anything you want help with or are you looking for a place to talk?

We can help here with advice and emotional support but we are not medical professionals who are capable of getting you the sort of help you may need.

IF it is help you are after, can you clarify some things so we can understand your situation better and give more targetted advice please?

You don't need to reply if you are not comfortable - we try to offer a safe and non judgemental space here.

NAS87568 said:

have been misdiagnosed so many times it's unreal with no real support from any services

Can you clarify why you believe you were misdiagnosed?

Could it be your mental illness is making you not want to accept the diagnoses? No disrespect, but as you don't say what the illness is it seems relevant to ask.

Have you tried the online self test for autism?  Note that there are a number of other conditions which share similar characteristics to autism so it is not accurate on its own. The online test is:

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism-test

NAS87568 said:

all my life I have a huge mistrust for mental health professionals

That must make your situation particularly difficult as getting help requires you to have to deal with people you don't trust.

If you could get access to a different group of professionals, would that help?

NAS87568 said:

The stigma around it to ask the question scares me

You can ask freely and anonymusly here.

There are a lot of very intelligent and experienced posters here who can answer anything (within reason) although please use your own judgement before chosing to follow the advice of someone you don't know.

I hope we can make you feel accepted and give you some of the snswers you seek.