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Concerns about going on antidepressants

Samuel

UPDATE : I posted an update to this situation in a reply below, but to cut it short, i decided to go on antidepressants after considering what the replies had to say about them and my general situation.

I also did change the title of the post for accuracy and to better represent the focus

ORIGINAL POST: 

A bit of background. I am 19, failed college 3 years ago due to social difficulties and have been looking for a job since. My parents are divorced and i live with my mum and 2 siblings. I have been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder only and not depression or anything else."

My mum wants me to go on antidepressants because she thinks i am unwell but i dont want to for multiple reasons. I want to outline them and i would appreciate thoughts or advice.

1st is that i find it hard to trust doctors anymore because i have a lot of trauma with going to the hospital due to suicidal feelings and feeling rejected/invalidated. I have had a counsellor and a therapist before and they both reported me for saying i was suicidal so i feel like it's not safe to talk to professionals anymore about how i truly feel.

2ndly is that i don't want to be dependant on anything because i fear situations i won't have access to them. Because i have expressed suicidal feelings before they would most likely give them to my mum who have to administer it to me. She is not always around. She is forgetful and gets drunk a few times a week. It's likely i won't be able to take these exactly as directed which would cause anxiety. 

3rdly and lastly is that i fear the concept of antidepressants is unnatural and or dangerous. I feel like i have valid reasons for why i feel so depressed and i feel like it wouldn't lead for anything good for me to block that out. I have heard reports of antidepressants making people more suicidal or likely to self harm and these are things i have struggled with in the past before. Also, i have heard before that believing that your medication won't work may actually make them less likely to work and the opposite can also be true. Idk if that is factual but it makes sense to me.


Also to go into about my reasons for feeling depressed. For me not having any friends has always been very difficult for me to live with and i am only becoming more and more socially isolated as my life goes on. I have limited interests, it's very rare i feel immersed or enjoy anything anymore. I find it impossible to relax and even go to sleep at a normal time. I have nothing to spend my energy on so i am awake for many more hours longer than i was when i had high school so that is why. In general i just feel like life is not worth living for me. I see much more despair and suffering in the world than i see hope and pure joy. But i cannot kill myself because the pain is too much, i have no realistic way of doing so. 

So overall i just feel like antidepressants will not help and make me feel worse, do you agree or disagree?


Parents

  • I’ll start by saying your concerns are valid. I think too often doctors do substitute antidepressants for therapy because appeal is cheap and the mental health provisions in the NHS are really underfunded.

    so let’s start by talking about what antidepressants can do and what they can’t do. They are not a happy pill. I’ve taken antidepressants for depression and they do not work like that. You don’t suddenly feel happy about your life. what they do tend to do is stop you from getting in deep holes where you’re completely devoid of energy and all you can think about is negative things. The side-effect also seems to be the kind of blunt your feelings about everything. Little moments of excitement in your day will go longer feel quite as exciting.

    I don’t view antidepressants as a long-term solution and in my opinion therapy was more helpful in the long term. They also tend to have side-effects. The most extreme ones I experience was disruption to my sleep patterns. I’m very much not a morning person and antidepressants made this much much worse. Also I found my creativity was slightly slowed and also my five senses slightly dulled especially taste and smell.

    no point to it’s very important to point out that the other forms of help you can receive aside from antidepressants. you’re mentally competent your doctor can’t force you to take antidepressants if you don’t want to. however your doctor can still refer you for for therapy even if you are not taking antidepressants. If you’re determined not to take antidepressants it might still be worth going to your GP and asking to be referred for therapy.

    and yes it’s true if you tell your therapist that you are having suicidal thoughts and you think you might possibly act on them they are going to do something about it. they are legally required to. That said a good therapist will tell you that this is the case beforehand. My therapist made it very clear that they would only discuss what I said with him with a third-party if there was a risk that  I might harm myself or others

  • in reply to Peter

    Peter, I think you have made a good reply which I agree with and my experience would support.

    OP, it sounds like one of your issues is social isolation, something I can relate to, as I suspect, can many autistic people.

    If where you live is like mine, there are groups around that can help. For instance, I found a ND social group near me on Facebook, that has gaming, music and films amongst other activities. In the past, I have attended a gardening group for people with mental health issues which I found open and welcoming (nobody bothered with what your diagnosis was but just accepted the need to be doing something together for mutual support). I have also attended an art and craft group run on a similar basis. These have very mixed age groups from older than me (and I am retired) to your age. We still have a laugh together. If being more active is more your thing, look out for walking groups. Your local library, Citizens Advice or County Council may be able to help.

    You could also consider volunteering at a food bank, charity shop, environmental group or animal shelter. Yes, again, you might be around older people rather than your peer group, but us oldies can often be more tolerant and supportive of difference. Volunteering also looks good when applying for jobs.

    Trying an activity and persisting with it for some time, can generate an interest, and a sense of achievement. 

    If you have no qualifications, you should be able to attend college and they ought to give you support. You can do this part-time to make it less stressful. College as an adult is different to school as a child. With no qualifications you should also get funding.

    As a competent adult, you ought to be in control of your medication, if you decide you want it. Your mother has no rights. She doesn't even need to know you are taking ADs. I have no idea how far you are from a chemist, but you could arrange to pick up your prescription on a weekly basis, which would not give you enough to overdose.

    You are still an adolescent at 19, and recent studies have shown that many adolescents function better with late rising and late bedtimes. Some schools have even experimented with a school day starting after lunch. So don't berate yourself about this.

    Let us know how you get on

Reply
  • in reply to Peter

    Peter, I think you have made a good reply which I agree with and my experience would support.

    OP, it sounds like one of your issues is social isolation, something I can relate to, as I suspect, can many autistic people.

    If where you live is like mine, there are groups around that can help. For instance, I found a ND social group near me on Facebook, that has gaming, music and films amongst other activities. In the past, I have attended a gardening group for people with mental health issues which I found open and welcoming (nobody bothered with what your diagnosis was but just accepted the need to be doing something together for mutual support). I have also attended an art and craft group run on a similar basis. These have very mixed age groups from older than me (and I am retired) to your age. We still have a laugh together. If being more active is more your thing, look out for walking groups. Your local library, Citizens Advice or County Council may be able to help.

    You could also consider volunteering at a food bank, charity shop, environmental group or animal shelter. Yes, again, you might be around older people rather than your peer group, but us oldies can often be more tolerant and supportive of difference. Volunteering also looks good when applying for jobs.

    Trying an activity and persisting with it for some time, can generate an interest, and a sense of achievement. 

    If you have no qualifications, you should be able to attend college and they ought to give you support. You can do this part-time to make it less stressful. College as an adult is different to school as a child. With no qualifications you should also get funding.

    As a competent adult, you ought to be in control of your medication, if you decide you want it. Your mother has no rights. She doesn't even need to know you are taking ADs. I have no idea how far you are from a chemist, but you could arrange to pick up your prescription on a weekly basis, which would not give you enough to overdose.

    You are still an adolescent at 19, and recent studies have shown that many adolescents function better with late rising and late bedtimes. Some schools have even experimented with a school day starting after lunch. So don't berate yourself about this.

    Let us know how you get on

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