Low mood after diagnosis

I think that Tony Atwood says it best when he’s says; there are two steps following a diagnosis the first being the elated feeling of diagnose and acknowledgement, the second being the despair that one feels when they find out the services are lacking and fail to meet expectations. I can say that it helped to be aware of this prior to achieving diagnosis, thanks to Dr Attwood, but yes I did feel exactly what you are describing.  
Now that the months have rolled by and I have largely-sated my post-diagnosis ambition of attaining resources, I feel a lot more mellow about the situation, I feel a lot more in control of my self and a lot more equipped to handle my environment, but in reality very little has changed.
I think that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, what goes up must come down, and I think that the reality of getting a diagnosis is quite-traumatising, in that most will not come to such definitive-conclusions about themselves in their lifetimes. 
If you have plans about where you want your diagnosis to go, then over-time your higher moods will see it done, but things take time to settle and to deploy, so be mindful of that. And when you have depressive-attacks be mindful that they go as quickly as they come and that you’ve gotten this far, and it will have taken a vastly-longer time to have gotten where you are now, than it will to get where you are going. Make sure you keep your interests attended-to, all will be well, life’s most frequent joys and gains are found in the little things, so look to those if the bigger picture gets too big.. good luck and god-speed friend..:)

only reason i still want to pursue diagnosis really, insurance against my employer firing me, limit what they can do against me.

Oof... That OTOH is definitely bleak as said. I mean, I can relate but also ouch. 

i think resolution of a thing perhaps can cause a form of burnout maybe.

your situation, you got diagnosed, resolution. then feel bad.

i had a situation where i was constantly worried about my boss trying to fire me so its a long story but i got a guaruntee i wont be fired off his boss and resolved it, but i felt bad after that too and my work was slowed and my mood was rock bottom despite it being a win for me.

i believe a resolution of a thing acts as a structure collapse maybe.... when you are going through a thing you are hyped for it and your mind perhaps is structured for it and is holding weight, when it resolves your mind takes away all that strength because your mind sees its resolves, so it drops everything its been holding right onto you if that makes sense... i think this is perhaps a thing that happens maybe.

OT1H = Very sound.

OTOH = Bleak - broadly true in my case in some parts, but generally...very bleak dude.

Tomorrow is another day.  Keep the joy, keep the peace.

Peace out.

Very well put.

It's a two edged sword. 

OT1H, you get to understand why some things are really hard for us, or impossible, and can make allowances for your self and even get others to also.

OTOH, you realise pretty quick that nothing is going to change, there is no help, you come here and see a reflection of yourself as others see you, and in the main it's a bit pathetic.

And it robs you of your equality in the eyes of others. Before diagnosis I was seen as a bit eccentric but capable by my peers. When you tell people you are Autistic, they don't congratulate you on your achievements despite it, it just confirms what they always suspected , you really aren't one of them or of much use.. 

I now want to relocate to somewhere where no one knows me and relaunch my life as just me, not Autistic me, and use the insights that I have to avoid the more obvious pitfalls, but keep the nature of my condition to myself.

I wish to god I'd kept my trap shut about it.

And not spent three years on here, soaking up the ambience...

Yes your week has sounded really tough. I'm glad you are doing okay. I live on the coast so we have a sea breeze so it is not too hot. I am doing okay. Struggling with a course I am doing,  but okay. Thanks again. I am looking forward to doing the DBT, as I've never tried it before. 

No worries, I hope it helps! I'm okay, just too hot and pretty exhausted, it's been a difficult week and there's too much going on. Yourself? 

So far the only thing I've ever really needed my diagnosis for was a lawsuit. I view it as insurance against discrimination since many people use "ah but you don't have a diagnosis" as a get out of jail free clause.

Thanks for the book recommendation. Just ordered it. How are you doing?

You wouldn't have found yourself in an assessment if you didn't have good reason to. People who feel relatively "normal" don't end up going down this path!

I think almost everyone late diagnosed experiences this 'fraud police' feeling - I think it's more common to feel like this than not to, I certainly did! 

I get the same feeling, like I fooled the assessors somehow... It isn't easy at all, you're right.

For me it's probably lack of self-esteem/confidence. 

It's been a week or so since I posted this though and it"s already a bit better and the more I read / interact on this forum the more understanding I feel. 

Just been diagnosed with autism and adhd and feel like. Was it worth it? Am I a fraud......then the difficulty I’ve had since before I ended up getting a diagnosis  kind of vindicates me really but the doubt is there for real. It’s not easy is it

No worries, I hope it helps if you go for it! 

Thanks for this and the link, will take a look. 

I actually didn't get that happy, elated, relief feeling even initially. I had a meltdown the evening of my diagnosis because it'd all just been such a lot to handle and process, and I didn't know what it meant or what to do with it. 

As for whether it matters, as others have said, definitely yes. I was diagnosed in 2020 and the processing and working out what it meant and how to change things was delayed somewhat by a huge bloody pandemic in the middle, but honestly I'm so glad I got my diagnosis. It's made me view myself and situations differently, be able to look back at past traumatic situations through a different lens, and work out strategies I never would have even discovered or considered beforehand. It took me the best part of a year to work out that I even have meltdowns post-diagnosis, never mind how to deal with them (that's a work in progress, but I can sometimes now manage them much more effectively!). 

I'd also recommend possibly going through The Neurodivergent Friendly Workbook of DBT Skills at some point, if you feel it might be helpful. It might be good to do this with a therapist or someone close to you in case it brings up difficult emotions, but I've done the majority of it in therapy and that might be a nice place to start. 

Don't lose hope - it's a long journey but one which does get better the more you try to reflect and learn and grow with the help of others and resources from fellow autistics. You've got this. 

Thanks Number, this is interesting and useful. I have lots of things to read now and like you write hopefully that research will help me understand more why it matters.

One thing you write made me a bit more optimistic, I am quite looking forward to unlearning the way 'they' have told me to be and being more how I actually am! Masking it for my whole life has been exhausting.

Thanks again,

Eyes

Good morning.

Yes - many people here have experienced what you describe.  There is excitement and relief initially.......and then the realisation that,  apart from the self knowledge, there is no help nor further "revelations" that will help with anything practical and meaningful.

You said;

Eyes said:

I have understanding now but does that matter?

To which, from my perspective and experience, I can offer you a resounding YES - it does matter.

I recommend that you don't beat yourself up.  I recommend that you allow yourself time to "come to terms" with your diagnosis in your own way.  There is no hurry.  Research autism to death for yourself......spend some time here with other people like you.....reflect on how you might be able to 'redirect' your efforts to better accommodate your autistic reality AND perhaps find ways to use it to your advantage.

For what it is worth, I think this next period of time for you is the most enlightening and when you 'grow' the most - but it all happens inside your own head - "they" have told you what you are, now "you" can fathom the ways that this new knowledge can enhance your life.

It isn't all doom and gloom 'Eyes' - just a roller coaster.

Kind regards

Number.