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Autistic teen having a depressive episode

NAS86599

I’m looking for some guidance on how to help my 18 year old daughter. She has just been diagnosed as having ASD and is going through a depressive episode.  I feel really helpless when she is having a melt down telling me she can’t cope any more with the thoughts she has.  I’m not sure what the right thing to do is.  I’m scared to leave her on her own but worried she is too dependant on me.  Any advice or guidance would be very much appreciated.  Thank you 

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  • Hi,

    I'm so sorry you're both going through that.  I can only tell you that I wish I had had psychotherapy when I was 18 instead of waiting til I was 40 something.  For some reason, even though my mum was a superb mum, telling a stranger about it lifted it off my shoulders in a whole new way.  For my son, who was suicidal a couple of years ago, I found a psychotherapist with experience of ASD and made sure they 'gelled'.  He opened up about whatever it was and has been a different boy ever since - still with his challenges but not with the low mood.

    If she has recently been diagnosed she may be thinking that her life is in some way limited, or worried that she will always feel that way because autism is permanent.  It may well help her to find a couple of autistic female adults to role model that for her. 

    If she can tell you her thoughts on a day when she is that bit more removed from them, you can both examine them in the cold light of day and see if they are genuine fears, things that could be changed, or simply feeling low because of something bad that happened (like a breakup).  If it's changeable, you can show her how to change it.  If it's fear, you can take her through how to avoid it (like changing the college course) or face it with support.  If she is feeling low for a good reason, then she may need you around but not 'on top of' her.  If she's feeling consistently low for no real reason, then a doc and/or therapist is what you need because you cannot do it all yourself.

    I will always remember how my mum helped me through my autistic teen years.  She airlifted me out of school when they were unreasonable, she was always there for me and we are very close as a result.  Your daughter will get through it with a mum who is switched on to what she needs, and I wish you both all the best.   

       

  • in reply to Salsa

    Thank you so much for the advice.  I really appreciate it and I’ve talked your reply through with her.  Definitely going to take this on board.  Thanks again 

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