Learning how to prevent burnout/meltdowns/shutdowns - therapy options?

Exactly. 

Sadly, it is ultimately the case that you can't force someone to listen.

It does occur to me though that if she is working with young offenders she is seeing one predominant presentation of autism only and can't equate that with you.

If she won't read, will she watch the BBC Chris Packham docs "Inside our autistic minds", it did show a variety of presentations which open her mind a bit.

Yes, I've been thinking that of late. Why isn't it routine to run all patients through an AQ50 and ask a few questions like: do you or any of your family have a diagnosis of ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia etc.

It would give them some clues from the get go as to who might need an assessment and who they should be aware might be vulnerable to being misdiagnosed bi-polar or EUPD etc to alert them to be super careful about that.

In an ideal world,  professionals could "screen" for possible neurodivergency when MH services are first accessed by way of a questionnaire or something.  Not a full diagnosis obviously. But looking at possible indicators. This is done similarly for physical ailments through blood tests etc.

There are youtube videos by Yo Samdy Sam and I'm Autistic Now What? among others on this topic. Also this episode of the Neurodivergent Woman podcast https://open.spotify.com/episode/6fBtjkuYjbfXxZBE8dAxGs?si=sM-ly_agRWqH0giDY30q1A their other episodes are interesting too. There are other resources but those are a good starting point and maybe others will share some.

Oh god! Yes, just to be talking with someone who speaks the same language,  It makes all the difference.

Maz said:

My brain runs at 100mph all day every day

It's this. I keep wondering if I am both. My autism is quite "internal" and I wonder if there is ADHD in the mix. One part of my brain needs thoughts in order but the other part feels quite chaotic and it's this constant dichotomy. I can see it in other areas of my life too. Do you (or anyone else for that matter) have any resources at all about Autism and ADHD? I haven't found much. Sorry to jump on your thread but i keep coming back to the possibility (and then discounting it but it just won't go away).

100% - the reason I was not diagnosed for so long was because I wasn't running around like a lunatic - at least not visibly. My brain runs at 100mph all day every day and it has caused me  on end of isues in my life

Thanks for such a helpful response Dawn

Thanks to everyone who has responded - I had read that a therapist with autism or at least being neurodiverse would help; I will investigate more.

The biggest issue I have is at home - I have masked all my life so my wife's initial comment was 'you aren't autistic' but she accepts that I most likely am now. She also won't read a book I have 'Autism for Adults' which describes me to a tee saying that she understands it having worked with young offenders who are neurodivergent.

However, she continues to do things that I have told her set me off and then accuses me of being rude, childish or quick to anger. Someone in a reply mentioned Luke Beards 'autism + environment = outcome' which I agree with wholeheartedly. The difficult thing I guess is that people cannot change us so how do I get my wife to understand that a better, happier me is one where I am not feeling/being judged by neurotypical others. I genuinely believe that I have been diagnosed incorrectly for so long and have masked the truth so well for so long that I always feel that I am a burden/issue/bad dad/husband etc. because I have been told all my life that I am 'wrong' in what I say and do - add to being bullied at school and my entire existence is one of fight/flight/anxiety which is thoroughly exhausting

Has anyone worked with this lady: https://www.dralicenicholls.com/

Thanks

S

It's not just the understanding that they have. It's the way they communicate. I can't really explain it any more than that but I noticed the difference. But yes I agree. MH services are underfunded as it is. It saddens me there are so many people out there who cannot get the help after diagnosis. Like I said, I'm very fortunate. 

I had a similar experience. What has worked for me is learning some aspects of mindfulness and relaxation. I was lucky enough to be able to work from home so, when the signs came, I was able to lie down in a darkened bedroom and concentrate on my breath. At other times, just being somewhere quiet with low sensory input helped to "recharge". With practice., I have been able to switch instantly to a relaxed state with my eyes closed and just concentrate on my breaths. Afterwards I can " wake up" look around me and concentrate on here and now to keep my mind clear. 

Hope this helps  

I've spoken with autistic MH professionals struggling for recognition in their own work places.

Personally, I think we should be rounding them all up and pro-actively offering them jobs as MH for the autistic community. 

There they would find a better work environment and we would finally get a decent therapist we don't have to battle to explain ourselves to.

I completely agree Dawn. It IS a very different conversation. I have only realised recently how much I've masked with regular therapists and gone along with expectations. I didn't need weeks and weeks of cbt for the 100th time. I needed someone to tell me like it is. Burnout. And the rest. What you said about anti depressants is pertinent too.

I also found that with a neurodivergent therapist, some of the things we talked about (related to autistic processing) are not things I had ever read before or heard about ANYWHERE. This therapy offered a new perspective on my autism which I wouldn't have had otherwise. I am very fortunate.

ADHD is badly named, some people have inattentive type which is not hyperactive.

Yes, since my diagnosis I've spoken to three professionals now who have a neurodivergence themselves in addition to their qualifications, one of which also autistic.  It's a very different conversation.  No need to educate them only for them to still not get it.  They get it bang on and straight away.

It's the only bit of personal information I'd want about a therapist.  Autistic too?  Cool, we're on the same page then.

I can't name any specific type of therapy that might be aimed at autistic people, but I have found that working with a neurodivergent therapist has been really beneficial for me. Although I'm autistic and my therapist is ADHD, there's enough overlap there (combined with her experience in working with other high-masking/late diagnosed autistic clients) for her to understand how my thinking, needs, and experiences are different from a neurotypical person.

isnt adhd the hyper active one?
youd be really energetic and talking really fast?

i know a person at work with that, shes loud, never quiet, its pretty obvious to spot. 

if monster energy drink was a person...it would be a person with adhd

Sounds like you're on the right lines of thinking.  Anything you need for "depression" wont be a lot of use unless any neurodivergence is held at the core of any therapy.

As for meltdown or shut down, Luke Beardon puts it like this:  Autism + environment = outcome.  To avoid these twin experiences, it's the environment which really needs adjusting, not anything in your id.  He's written a good book: Avoiding Anxiety in Autistic Adults.  And meltdown and shut down have anxiety overload at the core.

Some people can feel them coming and can make a little plan to get out of the way to a safe, private space when that happens, otherwise it's a case of trying to figure out what triggers them and trying to avoid or mitigate those in order to prevent them.  

As for burnout, that's commonly confused with depression.  You can be depressed and be in burnout, or have one without the other.  Meds won't help for the burnout bit, just good old fashioned R&R.  You've pushed past your available resources to cope with demand is all and it can be pretty debilitating.  There is a page on this site about that. 

I'm sorry you are in for such a long wait for a proper assessment, parr for the course it seems.  But you might find that understanding autism better and how that impacts on you might in and of itself help alleviate any depression.  Essentially, there's nothing fundamentally "wrong" with you, but you are wired a bit differently and need to find ways of doing stuff that is therefore a bit different and which suits you to keep mind, mood and life in balance.  

If work changes are a cause of burnout, well it depends how comfortable you are talking to your employer about this, but it might be that they could work with you to plan change more gently and iron out uncertainties etc to lessen the stress, or else adjust your work environment a bit to kick out some of the sensory and other stressors.