Which therapy, help!

CBT had it twice and never worked for me at all.

Hi! Just in case you haven't found anyone yet, you could try The Association of Neurodivergent Therapists. It's a list of neurodivergent (including Autistic) qualified therapists based in the UK. You should be able to filter for location.

Also I think therapy is highly individual, what works for one person doesn't for another. It has to be a good fit as well in terms of personality and therapy approach. 

Hi, I am in Cambridgeshire too. I am autistic too and I am about to start some mentoring with a counsellor that works for my university but also for 'Blue Smiles', which as far as I understand is a service that operates in some schools in the area. Who we are - Blue Smile | Children's Mental Health Charity in Cambridgeshire  . I haven't met the counsellor yet so I don't know how good it is but I thought I would put the link here just in case your son might be able to access this through school (as it would be a more affordable option). Other than that my experience with therapy is to listen to your instincts- if it doesn't feel right, then stop it and look for something else. Of course it can take some time and yes depending on therapy it can bring up some unsettling feelings, but if it doesn't feel helpful/ cause additional stress, I now let myself stop. If you can I would also recommend finding someone that has an understanding of autism. I wish I had learnt to better manage my anxiety etc at a young age so it is great you are seeking out support for your son! 

Speech and Language Therapy is thought to be a big help, as being able to communicate better, is a tremendous boon to an autist.

How to find a therapist: BACP Therapist Directory

This is the directory of qualified therapists in the UK.  I'd search for someone local to you and who specialises in autism,  let them assess and recommend what might help given the problems.

If it's something other than they offer which is required they might be able to point you in the right direction for the right therapy.

CBT really isn't helpful. I'd go down the route of art therapy as that's what I'm currently doing and I've found it so beneficial just to get my thoughts and rage down on paper. My therapist (group) is amazing too so that helps. I lucked out being able to get this in the NHS too as it's for neurodivergent (or those suspected to be) people.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common therapy approach that has been used with some success for individuals with ASD. CBT aims to help individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that may be causing distress or interfering with daily functioning.

However, it is important to note that every individual with ASD is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. It is important to work with qualified mental health professionals like https://www.riviamind.com/ who have experience working with individuals with ASD to determine the best therapy approach for your son.

This is great thank you. I am in Cambridgeshire!!  He has lots of anxiety which is what the therapy is for, otherwise we accept and love him as he is. :)

If you want a more authoritative and balanced view of how to help your Autistic child then I strongly recommend you join some of the Zoom events run by Pinpoint Cambridgeshire even if you live elsewhere. See www.pinpoint-cambs.org.uk/.../

It may be that your son is not broken so does noit need to be fixed. The analogy I would use is someone who is left handed does nit need to be taught to be right handed. I was not diagnosed until after I had retired and I now realize that being Autistic has enabled me to have a long and successful career. That is not to say I have noit had issues to deal with but most have been due to having to fit in with the rest of the non Autistic world. I may have failed to be normal but have succeeded in being Autistic. Being Autistic gives us special talents which I have been able to use to my advantage. 

That said, trying to fit in with today's education system can be a challenge for Autistic Children. 

Thank you. Yes this is exactly my concern. Where do we even start with this and how do we find someone?!!

Yep!

CBT generally speaking does not work for autistic people, basically because a lot of what we worry about, whilst irrational to most people is actually real for us because we are experiencing the world differently and no amount of trying to think about that any other way will change what we are sensing and how we are sensing it.  I've had a ton of that plus other psychology, prior to my identification as autistic.  At best, I derived no benefit.  At worst it did me a lot of damage trying to dig at problems that were not there, whilst not listening to what I was trying to tell them and then blaming me when that didn't work because they were trying to cure conditions that didn't exist.

That's not to put you off all therapy.  But whatever you do have needs to be properly autism informed.  The therapist needs a really good grounding in autism - or be autistic themselves - and have a really positive autistim outlook.  Approaches like ABA can seem to make the person quiet and compliant from a neurotypical point of view but actually deepens the anxiety of the autistic person because the strong message to the autistic person is 'being you isn't acceptable'.  Young autistic people need to unmask, not mask up.  They need to know it's OK to be themselves.

I guess a lot will depend on what your son feels he need therapy for.  For anything sensory, this probably isn't CBT or anything psychological at all, but rather sensory integration work with an expert occupational health person, for anxiety perhaps autism informed counselling.