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Want to retreat but know that wouldn't be helpful

Stripymouse

Hi!  Everything that is happening in life, both personal and in a wider society view, is causing me to want to retreat, forget it all and just be alone.  However, overall that's not what I want!  I can be a very social person, albeit in small amounts, and I want to have friends and be accepted.  I struggle with this so much and don't know what to do about it.  I've tried to be a good friend to people over the years and have been supportive and interested in them etc yet something about me still seems to mean I end up mostly on my own.  Anyway, I welcome anyone with advice or just sympathy or anyone who wants to make friends! 

Parents

  • I always want to make new friends, the issue I have is I suffer from time blindness and if I go through a very busy patch, even long standing friends can expect to get just a short check in at most every 3 weeks - 3 months, so maintaining friendships with people who expect a lot more or erroneously take it personally as some kind of rejection has often been a breaking point of those friendships. The plus side I suppose is I'm low maintenance and only expect the ocassional prod in return, I don't expect friends to put their own stuff on hold for me, it's just pick up the chat whenever you get time kinda deal.

  • in reply to 🐝 Bees 🐝 (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs

    I can relate to this- I can be very bad at responding to messages and can go for periods where I just don't feel up to seeing anyone. Luckily a lot of my friends are similar or are just quite understanding. The downside of that is though that if I do want to see someone, that means that there is often no-one available as I barely have any friends and they are all either very busy or need a lot of downtime too... I don't think I could cope with a friendship where there is too much pressure to give etc. I like friendships to feel natural, not forced, those are the ones that last and there are a few special people that I can go for months not seeing but then when we do see each other, it feels like we've been in touch every day. 

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  • in reply to 🐝 Bees 🐝 (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs

    I can relate to this- I can be very bad at responding to messages and can go for periods where I just don't feel up to seeing anyone. Luckily a lot of my friends are similar or are just quite understanding. The downside of that is though that if I do want to see someone, that means that there is often no-one available as I barely have any friends and they are all either very busy or need a lot of downtime too... I don't think I could cope with a friendship where there is too much pressure to give etc. I like friendships to feel natural, not forced, those are the ones that last and there are a few special people that I can go for months not seeing but then when we do see each other, it feels like we've been in touch every day. 

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