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Want to retreat but know that wouldn't be helpful

Stripymouse

Hi!  Everything that is happening in life, both personal and in a wider society view, is causing me to want to retreat, forget it all and just be alone.  However, overall that's not what I want!  I can be a very social person, albeit in small amounts, and I want to have friends and be accepted.  I struggle with this so much and don't know what to do about it.  I've tried to be a good friend to people over the years and have been supportive and interested in them etc yet something about me still seems to mean I end up mostly on my own.  Anyway, I welcome anyone with advice or just sympathy or anyone who wants to make friends! 

Parents

  • I echo your feelings. I keep saying to my wife "this is no longer my world and I want out" she says "no,no,no,no, you can't leave me like that! (seriously though I'm not really suicidal and she knows it) I came to these shores in 1971 to a clean, peaceful, land with people who were respectful and pleasant to each other.  I can't recognize any of those attributes today. 

    Culturally, financially, socially, Britain seems broken. All of this is added to my own personal struggles and causing my own wish to retreat from it all.  Oh, I could "bury my head in the sand" and pretend otherwise but reality always come crashing through.  

    I have two sons, one is an artist whose head is always in the clouds being creative (he doesn't watch any news media) and doesn't have a clue or care in the world about what is going on. The other son is somewhat backward who also does not watch the news and probably would not understand it if he did watch.  He is a skilled employed plasterer and has plenty of time to think about these things if he wished to while plastering. 

    Perhaps ignorance is bliss and I should relate to their example?  I do try to overcome my feelings of being overwhelmed with it all.  I've lived a friendless life for most of it and it doesn't bother me that much now at age 77.  I've never done well at parties or in groups yet I still fool myself by trying to engage, but it always goes sour for me. Only yesterday I forced myself to engage with strangers at a meeting of a group of people in my town who feel strongly against a local government proposal to implement zoned 20 minute drive restrictions. I remained very quiet and felt very uncomfortable from the outset. I left before anyone else after hearing what needed to be said. For me, this was my attempt at trying to strike a balance. I think my social awkwardness must be very apparent which must put people off.  But, never mind, I'm used to those reactions. So my bottom line to Stripymouse is you hopefully will resign yourself to who you are with acceptance and relax with it because life is too short.

Reply

  • I echo your feelings. I keep saying to my wife "this is no longer my world and I want out" she says "no,no,no,no, you can't leave me like that! (seriously though I'm not really suicidal and she knows it) I came to these shores in 1971 to a clean, peaceful, land with people who were respectful and pleasant to each other.  I can't recognize any of those attributes today. 

    Culturally, financially, socially, Britain seems broken. All of this is added to my own personal struggles and causing my own wish to retreat from it all.  Oh, I could "bury my head in the sand" and pretend otherwise but reality always come crashing through.  

    I have two sons, one is an artist whose head is always in the clouds being creative (he doesn't watch any news media) and doesn't have a clue or care in the world about what is going on. The other son is somewhat backward who also does not watch the news and probably would not understand it if he did watch.  He is a skilled employed plasterer and has plenty of time to think about these things if he wished to while plastering. 

    Perhaps ignorance is bliss and I should relate to their example?  I do try to overcome my feelings of being overwhelmed with it all.  I've lived a friendless life for most of it and it doesn't bother me that much now at age 77.  I've never done well at parties or in groups yet I still fool myself by trying to engage, but it always goes sour for me. Only yesterday I forced myself to engage with strangers at a meeting of a group of people in my town who feel strongly against a local government proposal to implement zoned 20 minute drive restrictions. I remained very quiet and felt very uncomfortable from the outset. I left before anyone else after hearing what needed to be said. For me, this was my attempt at trying to strike a balance. I think my social awkwardness must be very apparent which must put people off.  But, never mind, I'm used to those reactions. So my bottom line to Stripymouse is you hopefully will resign yourself to who you are with acceptance and relax with it because life is too short.

Children