7 year old emotions

Hi. Only in the last 6 months have I realised my 7 year old boy has autism. Now I understand more it’s so obvious but I’m fairly new to it all and trying desperately to help him manage his emotions better. 
he’s in an all boys school, is an august baby, loves dancing and singing, adores maths and numbers, but has zero friends (and the boys he plays with aren’t the nice ones). And last week he bit a boy and kicked another boy. His grandad passed away last week and so we know that’s having an effect on his behavior (despite the lack of reaction when we told him), but he internalizes everything and can’t explain how he’s feeling. 
the school are being good. He’s now got a counselor, uses colours to help describe how he’s feeling, sits on a quieter table etc. but what else can I do. He doesn’t show remorse really and I can’t see to get through to him how important it is to be kind and to just take a breath rather than lash out. 

Parents
  • I was only in school for a year and got in lots of fights. But as I remember most of the time some one else picked the fight with me. I just responded. But it’s hard for a student under pressure to explain that other kids are picking on him. Especially if the other kids have the bigger bruises and the teacher seems to like them better.

    my limited experience with autistic children who fight (gained in my childhood) is that once the fight starts they tend to commit to the fight more and are generally more aggressive. It doesn’t follow that they are starting the fights though.

    so think about it logically from your child’s perspective? Why would you show remorse for winning a fight someone else started?

Reply
  • I was only in school for a year and got in lots of fights. But as I remember most of the time some one else picked the fight with me. I just responded. But it’s hard for a student under pressure to explain that other kids are picking on him. Especially if the other kids have the bigger bruises and the teacher seems to like them better.

    my limited experience with autistic children who fight (gained in my childhood) is that once the fight starts they tend to commit to the fight more and are generally more aggressive. It doesn’t follow that they are starting the fights though.

    so think about it logically from your child’s perspective? Why would you show remorse for winning a fight someone else started?

Children
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