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Can we use our diagnosis as an “excuse”

Alice-nice-Alice

I was diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder in 1999 and at that time was behaving dreadfully. I won’t go into detail as it may be triggering but I really was a nasty, cruel and unpleasant person. I was though very ill and particularly so when in mixed psychotic/depressive episodes. Coming out of these I always looked back with guilt and remorse and never have and never will forgive myself or use my dx as an excuse. The bipolar btw hasn’t presented for many years but that is another story, and the behaviours of cruelty have completely stopped  

But is this right? to not allow myself any slack?  I really am very conflicted these days. 

So becoming part of the wider autism community recently I’ve found quite a lot of people using their autism diagnosis as an excuse for bad or cruel behaviour, the “meltdowns” being only one example, and here in this community as an excuse for minority-on-minority judgementalism

Im not being deliberately provocative but genuinely trying to understand and if necessary adjust my thinking. Your own perspectives on this will help me

Thanks

E (she/her)

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  • in reply to I Sperg

    From the lyrics of 'Bad Moon Rising', by Creedence Clearwater Revival, "One eye is taken for an eye." Biblical-style retribution is possibly allowable, but the water bomb less so, though it probably did no lasting harm.

  • in reply to Martin

    I'm not so sure about that.

    When I think of one thing I did out of malice, (I'd suffered a carefully delivered bullying campaign, and I decided to exact a penalty for once) I simply do not feel any guilt, whereas every time I remember when in my first car, that time I deliberately engulfed a cyclist in a wall of water (I made sure he heard me accelerate too..) "for the fun of it" on the spur of the moment, I kinda squirm a bit. I had a sadistic sense of humour instilled in me as a kid, which I really came to despise in my thirties. I've a friend of half a century now, who still has one, and a few days back he was regaling me stories of the japes he'd pulled on his subordinates..

    And there are still other bad things I've done, like lobbing a water bomb out of the sunroof of a moving car, and delivering it right into a strangers cleavage, where my guilt is offset by the pride in my achievement... And that's double badness. 

    But I did good stuff back then as well...

  • in reply to I Sperg

    We cannot control the reactions of others, but I think the first leaves a stain on the psyche, whereas the second does not.