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Can we use our diagnosis as an “excuse”

Alice-nice-Alice

I was diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder in 1999 and at that time was behaving dreadfully. I won’t go into detail as it may be triggering but I really was a nasty, cruel and unpleasant person. I was though very ill and particularly so when in mixed psychotic/depressive episodes. Coming out of these I always looked back with guilt and remorse and never have and never will forgive myself or use my dx as an excuse. The bipolar btw hasn’t presented for many years but that is another story, and the behaviours of cruelty have completely stopped  

But is this right? to not allow myself any slack?  I really am very conflicted these days. 

So becoming part of the wider autism community recently I’ve found quite a lot of people using their autism diagnosis as an excuse for bad or cruel behaviour, the “meltdowns” being only one example, and here in this community as an excuse for minority-on-minority judgementalism

Im not being deliberately provocative but genuinely trying to understand and if necessary adjust my thinking. Your own perspectives on this will help me

Thanks

E (she/her)

Parents

  • I read the title and was going to come i with a resounding "heck yes!!" but then I read the text.

    My sin is close to yours, but my cruelties and offences have mainly been committed unthinkingly, mostly when I was young and stupid, I didn't even have the excuse of BPD to fall back on. 

    I take the simplistic view of that happened I can't change it, I'll no doubt get to revisit it all again at some point after death in some to me now incomprehensible new reality, in this life I've certainly had similar things happen to me.

    All I can do is use the past to inform my shaping of a better future. I can mostly avoid meltdowns and often times see 'em coming. I've come to hate the way I believe my meltdowns must appear to other people, and I do my utmost to do it somewhere out of sight, just as I do if I have the urge to vomit, I fight it down and get myself out of sight if it really has to happen. Although I had a mini meltdown in the kitchen this A.M. whereas I can;t remember the last time I puked...

    In common with BPD my Autism does wax and wane in terms of how it seems to disable me.

    In common with the medievel Christian (and other religions, too) idea we have to try and keep our personal demons in check, and always work to the day when you can expel them.

    Either that or you become the "Disorder" made manifest.

    I want to be more than that, and I think you do too.

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  • I read the title and was going to come i with a resounding "heck yes!!" but then I read the text.

    My sin is close to yours, but my cruelties and offences have mainly been committed unthinkingly, mostly when I was young and stupid, I didn't even have the excuse of BPD to fall back on. 

    I take the simplistic view of that happened I can't change it, I'll no doubt get to revisit it all again at some point after death in some to me now incomprehensible new reality, in this life I've certainly had similar things happen to me.

    All I can do is use the past to inform my shaping of a better future. I can mostly avoid meltdowns and often times see 'em coming. I've come to hate the way I believe my meltdowns must appear to other people, and I do my utmost to do it somewhere out of sight, just as I do if I have the urge to vomit, I fight it down and get myself out of sight if it really has to happen. Although I had a mini meltdown in the kitchen this A.M. whereas I can;t remember the last time I puked...

    In common with BPD my Autism does wax and wane in terms of how it seems to disable me.

    In common with the medievel Christian (and other religions, too) idea we have to try and keep our personal demons in check, and always work to the day when you can expel them.

    Either that or you become the "Disorder" made manifest.

    I want to be more than that, and I think you do too.

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