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Can we use our diagnosis as an “excuse”

Alice-nice-Alice

I was diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder in 1999 and at that time was behaving dreadfully. I won’t go into detail as it may be triggering but I really was a nasty, cruel and unpleasant person. I was though very ill and particularly so when in mixed psychotic/depressive episodes. Coming out of these I always looked back with guilt and remorse and never have and never will forgive myself or use my dx as an excuse. The bipolar btw hasn’t presented for many years but that is another story, and the behaviours of cruelty have completely stopped  

But is this right? to not allow myself any slack?  I really am very conflicted these days. 

So becoming part of the wider autism community recently I’ve found quite a lot of people using their autism diagnosis as an excuse for bad or cruel behaviour, the “meltdowns” being only one example, and here in this community as an excuse for minority-on-minority judgementalism

Im not being deliberately provocative but genuinely trying to understand and if necessary adjust my thinking. Your own perspectives on this will help me

Thanks

E (she/her)

Parents

  • I think there's a difference between 'excuse' and 'explanation'

    I'm going to go with your meltdown example because it's here

    So for example you've had a meltdown and in that you've yelled at insulted someone. A later conversation might involve, "I'm sorry I yelled at you, I was overstimulated by x,y,z and had a meltdown due to me being autistic affecting the way I deal with stimulus" You have acknowledged the behaviour hurt the other person, you have apologised. If other things have happened you might offer to replace something that's broken or if this is a regular occurrence you might suggest changing somethings like stop meeting at a certain time or a certain place.

    It is important to understand that both things can be true.

    What you did hurt the other person. And you could not prevent that happening at the time. 

    I don't think of that as an excuse, I think of it as an explanation

Reply

  • I think there's a difference between 'excuse' and 'explanation'

    I'm going to go with your meltdown example because it's here

    So for example you've had a meltdown and in that you've yelled at insulted someone. A later conversation might involve, "I'm sorry I yelled at you, I was overstimulated by x,y,z and had a meltdown due to me being autistic affecting the way I deal with stimulus" You have acknowledged the behaviour hurt the other person, you have apologised. If other things have happened you might offer to replace something that's broken or if this is a regular occurrence you might suggest changing somethings like stop meeting at a certain time or a certain place.

    It is important to understand that both things can be true.

    What you did hurt the other person. And you could not prevent that happening at the time. 

    I don't think of that as an excuse, I think of it as an explanation

Children
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