Ever since my dad died almost four years ago, my son and I have had growing concerns about my mother. Actually, if I'm absolutely honest, we had been having concerns about her long before my dad died. One of her biggest fears is that she will follow in the footsteps of her grandmother and mother. Her grandmother developed Alzheimer's after suffering a stroke, and her own mother developed Vascular Dementia.
Hopefully, you will understand where I'm going with this, and why.
Despite the fact that my mother actively uses technology, she would be the first to admit that she doesn't understand it. For example, an aunt of mine visited my mother a few years ago, shortly after purchasing a new mobile phone. At the time, my mother had been having issues with her computer. This resulted in her coming up with the theory that my aunt's new mobile phone had somehow been responsible for causing the computer issues. So, that gives you an insight into the way my mother's mind work. Attempting to try to make sense of my mother's logic and bizarre theories often results in my brain feeling like it has been well and truly fried.
Last night, my son visited my mother to deal with some tech-related issues. The TV had been on, and her Virgin Media on-screen TV guide had apparently highlighted that a sports programme was currently being broadcast on one of the BBC channels she often watches. My mother then starts ranting about the fact that she doesn't like watching sports programmes, and that when she had signed up with Virgin Media, she had specifically stated that she wasn't interested in any sports channels.
My son found himself trying to explain to my mother that Virgin Media is not responsible for what the BBC broadcasts, and also that neither Virgin Media nor the BBC was forcing her to watch something she had no interest in. My mother is 67 and has spent years watching TV, so it's not like this is a whole new experience for her. She knows (or at least she used to) that one doesn't get to pick and choose what gets broadcast. Prior to my mother signing up with Virgin Media, she had been with Talk Talk. I remember that we often used to joke about the fact that a large percentage of the channels included in TV packages never get watched. It's as though she has completely forgotten how TV packages work, and how TV broadcasters operate.
If my mother is 'losing her marbles', which is what we now suspect, my son and I are aware that we are the ones who will need to have a difficult conversation with her. At the best of times, we struggle to cope with her. During the months leading up to my dad's death, it was as though she had suddenly aged both physically and mentally overnight. I never previously used to think of her as 'elderly', but now I find myself likening her to someone in their eighties. Quite frankly, it's scary as to just how much my mother has changed. My son and I don't feel ready or capable of stepping up to the plate and becoming my mother's carers, as we have enough problems taking care of ourselves.
