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Therapy

Catlover

Ok, I started talking therapy for a number of issues. I didn’t expect an autism specialist lol, but I didn’t expect to hear this in the first 10 minutes:

Oh, but you sound very able.

You must have it really mild.

Me: there’s no such thing as mild autism, you either have autism or you don’t.

oh, so you don’t have it then.

Me: Yes! I am autistic, I have a diagnosis. I’m pointing out that you cannot get a diagnosis if you don’t meet all the criteria and if it doesn’t affect how you live your life each day.

I can’t be bothered to outline the rest. But putting that aside, it was good to air some things I’ve otherwise never spoken about.

Parents

  • The first time I contacted any clinician about anything that was not strictly about physical health, is when I applied for autism assessment. My family had a very stoic ethos, just get on with things. That's what I have done all my life, I always felt that to give in to my difficulties, even an inch, would result in me falling apart completely. I don't put this forward as a good thing, but it has effectively stopped me from ever seeking therapy. I have no idea how I would even begin interacting with a therapist in a 'talking therapy'.

  • in reply to Martin

    It just sort of... happens. There's no right way. Though they will warm you up with some ice-breaker questions in that first session or three. I ramble non-stop in mine, then occasionally find myself paralysed by a bottleneck of five things needing to be said at once. In those moments, I've learned that silence isn't a crime - in fact I'm sure she's glad of it!

  • in reply to Shardovan

    When I first tried counselling age 16, I could not talk at all. I sat in almost complete silence for four sessions before giving up. I don't usually have selective mutism, but I wonder if that was what it was. It scared me off talking therapies for a while when they could have helped me.

    Now I've had so much therapy over the last twenty years that it doesn't faze me. And my blog is basically auto-analysis (or possibly just overthinking).

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  • in reply to Shardovan

    When I first tried counselling age 16, I could not talk at all. I sat in almost complete silence for four sessions before giving up. I don't usually have selective mutism, but I wonder if that was what it was. It scared me off talking therapies for a while when they could have helped me.

    Now I've had so much therapy over the last twenty years that it doesn't faze me. And my blog is basically auto-analysis (or possibly just overthinking).

Children
  • in reply to Luftmentsch

    Someone I know sat in silence for many sessions unable to know where to start. Their therapist patiently sat in quiet with them. One time the therapist dozed off. Eventually, they suggested lying down to talk and suddenly this person felt they could, minus the risk of any eye contact, begin speaking. And it built over the following weeks into a flow  that’s still going week to week to this day and probably for a while yet.