Constant sense of dread

I think if it stems from stress and anxiety which is highly likely, then you need to address that. You need to find a way to manage your stress levels etc. cut back, take me time, sort your sleep, and also think about getting some help to manage those thoughts and challenge them, and put them into perspective.

It can sometimes stem from depression. Might be worth having a chat with your GP, especially if it’s ruling your life.

Two things which are relevant to me that I hope *might* provide an insight or clue for others going through similar problems to those of ConstantRepeat and me:

1. I was very, very late - compared to many people - to understand that people are mortal. Late twenties or early thirties. I am generally slow in realising things which are obvious to others.  Finally realising this basic fact of life was incredibly depressing for me. An absolute crisis. I still don't quite believe it's true (i.e. I struggle to accept this obvious fact).

2. My fear of the phone ringing, the door being knocked, and all sorts of out-of-the-blue communication was worsened by my receiving unexpected news of a bereavement; that shock has never faded, and I've lost my sense of proportion - I constantly expect unanticipated communication to be bad or frightening news.

Both of these things, I think, are associated with CR's issues even though my own may appear rather different. 

This is so very similar to what I'm experiencing!

I definitely went into crisis mode when I fully realised that we're all going to die someday - including my loved ones. And I never really left that crisis mode. I know dying is inevitable and natural but my brain just can't seem to accept it.

And yes, out-of-the-blue communication makes me react in the same way as you described. The phone rings - my brain immediately panics and thinks "this is it, the moment I've been dreading"

"I've lost my sense of proportion" is the perfect way to describe it.

It's okay, I was struggling to put what I was experiencing into the right words and your reply has already helped with that, and it's also one of those situations where it's helpful just to know I'm not alone.

It's okay, I was struggling to put what I was experiencing into the right words and your reply has already helped with that, and it's also one of those situations where it's helpful just to know I'm not alone.