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Rapid negative mood from misinterpretation of conversations

NAS64242

Any tips on what to do if you suddenly get angry because of what (you think) someone has said?

I find it very difficult to notice / stop when I am in this spiral, until after the event, when I have said something that escalates the situation.

I have noticed that the key symptom / precursor is that my teeth clench (involuntarily), but by then I have pretty much gone down the rabbit hole.

This is an endlessly recurring process that has a highly negative effect on relationships.

Thanks

Parents

  • I went through a period of time where I had to consciously remember the phrase "How do you mean". I think it must have been a few years it was prevalent at the front of my mind. I had to daily remind myself that I might have 5 interpretations of what someone would say and they'd all be wrong. I wrote these on a piece of paper and taped them to my wall. 

    Then I had 12 healthy habits (things one can turn into a habit) in my top desk drawer. 

    I was also part of a church group at the time and it seemed it was generally talked of to be mind-full that we might have a piece of information but never the full story. We might sense a thing to be true but attach our own bias to it and completely drive something out of context. It was a rather enjoyable community which valued: Growth being was more important than being right. Connexion more important than a crusade. 

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  • I went through a period of time where I had to consciously remember the phrase "How do you mean". I think it must have been a few years it was prevalent at the front of my mind. I had to daily remind myself that I might have 5 interpretations of what someone would say and they'd all be wrong. I wrote these on a piece of paper and taped them to my wall. 

    Then I had 12 healthy habits (things one can turn into a habit) in my top desk drawer. 

    I was also part of a church group at the time and it seemed it was generally talked of to be mind-full that we might have a piece of information but never the full story. We might sense a thing to be true but attach our own bias to it and completely drive something out of context. It was a rather enjoyable community which valued: Growth being was more important than being right. Connexion more important than a crusade. 

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