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How long before sending a romantic interest another message?

NAS62142

I have been speaking to someone online that I fancy romantically, and we are both open about liking each other (we’ve called each other cute). I was going to message him about arranging a video call as when I explained to him I’d like to keep talking online then progress to a video call he agreed it sounded good. However, I last messaged him on Wednesday just generally asking him what he'd done at the gym (he says he'd just been). He saw it at some point yesterday or this morning but hasn't replied yet. It's the first time that this has happened, it has pretty much been the typical back and forth volleyball up until this point. Do you think I can send him another message asking him if he still wants to do a video call (and if so when he's free), and if so, how long should I wait until sending it?

Also, how do I deal with the uncertainty of him not replying in the meantime? It's quite common for me to get anxious when this happens as I worry it will all end.
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  • If you want to respond immediately at least take 10 mins to think of a response if the last message you recieved requires more than a single word response/answer, and that way you can consider what you want to say and proof read it for typos if you need to. I see you say it has been since Wednesday so if you want to message then just do it. (You can only gain a relationship from here, even if it doesn't work out you don't really have anything to lose by taking the chance.) But don't do the "keep it cool keep them interested" thing by mutually playing who will give in and respond next, that's negging-ish horse plop, and no healthy relationship starts off that way. If you are keen then be keen, he'll most likely find it reassuring as everyone wants to be with someone who is invested in the relationship. Also  it's very typical for people to just get busy this time of year so as a one-off or rare occurance it probably doesn't mean anything serious if the interction level drops. But if he does it again, and again it might be a sign he's not as invested as you are.

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  • If you want to respond immediately at least take 10 mins to think of a response if the last message you recieved requires more than a single word response/answer, and that way you can consider what you want to say and proof read it for typos if you need to. I see you say it has been since Wednesday so if you want to message then just do it. (You can only gain a relationship from here, even if it doesn't work out you don't really have anything to lose by taking the chance.) But don't do the "keep it cool keep them interested" thing by mutually playing who will give in and respond next, that's negging-ish horse plop, and no healthy relationship starts off that way. If you are keen then be keen, he'll most likely find it reassuring as everyone wants to be with someone who is invested in the relationship. Also  it's very typical for people to just get busy this time of year so as a one-off or rare occurance it probably doesn't mean anything serious if the interction level drops. But if he does it again, and again it might be a sign he's not as invested as you are.

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