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Self-centredness and ‘being there for those who are grieving’

NAS73180

 I might not feel good about being self-centred but that is just plain truth and it is what makes ASD a disorder.

Recently I contacted a cousin to commiserate on the death of her mother. I was more worried about me not getting the appropriate words, tone and how I felt than the grieving cousin.

I expect my mother, sister brother father and others in society would reprimand me think less of me because I have this attitude but I am powerless over it.

Or maybe I am considering them after all but just afraid of being imperfect. 

Parents

  • Communication with grieving humans is difficult (to say the least) for both NT's and ND's alike.  The fact that you made the effort to convey your sympathies reflects very well on your character.  It is wholly foreseeable that your ASD did lead you to carefully consider and worry about HOW you delivered your intended message - but that does not make you self-centred, it makes you careful and wise, in my opinion.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Indeed. It is difficult to know what to say. Some folk need others around them and want to talk about their grief; we should lend an ear. Some folk want to be left alone with their memories; we need to respect their space. It is super hard if people are pretending to be ok and they aren't really.

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