Am i insane

It might be good to define sanity. 

But first it sounds like the missing element is a matter of learned disciplines. Healthy ones which might be a nuisance in the moment but have a long-term rewarding effect. Maybe it's a matter of simply having dishes when you need them and the long-term effect is a few hours from now. 

If the issue is not being bothered because a thing is no fun, then taking steps to incorporate a reward system into your life might be worth experiment. Then life can be a series of mixed enjoyment plus maintenance for a matter of (what I call) "Fluidity". I like this word because I literally hate interruptions so much more. Interruptions like not having scissors on hand to open a packet. Or finding a packet that wasn't opened with scissors which is more of a chore to deal with because it's not a clean line and things end up spilling from the unseen cracks. Interruptions like a bit of goo not cleaned from a kitchen handle and now I have to wash my hand and also the handle when I was focused on just making a sandwich. Details of minor consequence but they add up to a series of frustrations interrupting a daily flow.

I think the first thing which really helped was a decided day or two of a spiritual growth / quest with a sort of fast. I don't fast entirely as I have things to mind. But it was a limited few days: a root veg, almonds, broth and lemon water. The intention was about taking note of who was in charge. My future self or the immediate craving. This helped. 

All this needs to be undergone in small doses. Can you do one thing which will create a future reward? Even cleaning a gaming console - something you enjoy. Break out the cotton buds and alcohol, be sure to get the wires. 

Autistic reasoning is a different way of thinking about the world, of using our brain. We might have issues with executive function because we might be capable of things NTs would have difficulty with. But everyone needs a bit of routine (even if it's making a point to execute an event at regular intervals or keeping priorities and never a clockwork pattern). And everyone needs to create, produce, see a result to their labour even if it's mental or just a flower bed, otherwise we just begin to feel lost. 

It might be good to define sanity. 

But first it sounds like the missing element is a matter of learned disciplines. Healthy ones which might be a nuisance in the moment but have a long-term rewarding effect. Maybe it's a matter of simply having dishes when you need them and the long-term effect is a few hours from now. 

If the issue is not being bothered because a thing is no fun, then taking steps to incorporate a reward system into your life might be worth experiment. Then life can be a series of mixed enjoyment plus maintenance for a matter of (what I call) "Fluidity". I like this word because I literally hate interruptions so much more. Interruptions like not having scissors on hand to open a packet. Or finding a packet that wasn't opened with scissors which is more of a chore to deal with because it's not a clean line and things end up spilling from the unseen cracks. Interruptions like a bit of goo not cleaned from a kitchen handle and now I have to wash my hand and also the handle when I was focused on just making a sandwich. Details of minor consequence but they add up to a series of frustrations interrupting a daily flow.

I think the first thing which really helped was a decided day or two of a spiritual growth / quest with a sort of fast. I don't fast entirely as I have things to mind. But it was a limited few days: a root veg, almonds, broth and lemon water. The intention was about taking note of who was in charge. My future self or the immediate craving. This helped. 

All this needs to be undergone in small doses. Can you do one thing which will create a future reward? Even cleaning a gaming console - something you enjoy. Break out the cotton buds and alcohol, be sure to get the wires. 

Autistic reasoning is a different way of thinking about the world, of using our brain. We might have issues with executive function because we might be capable of things NTs would have difficulty with. But everyone needs a bit of routine (even if it's making a point to execute an event at regular intervals or keeping priorities and never a clockwork pattern). And everyone needs to create, produce, see a result to their labour even if it's mental or just a flower bed, otherwise we just begin to feel lost.