The only time I really felt like I knew who I was was when I was really little. In middle school I developed an eating disorder and ever since then (I'm 22 now), my life has mostly been filled with health issues and depression. I've been in a few relationships and I always find myself so happy when I'm dating someone. I don't take on all of their hobbies but I just feel more excited about life and open to trying new things. But by myself I just feel dull. Like I don't know what I enjoy. My only "hobby" is walking outside. I like researching things and watching videos but I wouldn't call that a hobby, and it doesn't add to my identity. I have values but those are applicable in relationships more-so than when I'm alone.
Am I supposed to be 100% content with my own company? Is it unhealthy to rely on friendships? Isn't human connection necessary for happiness? Is it such a bad thing that I don't know who I am when I'm completely isolated? How do I discover who I really am...I have tried everything, it feels like. I'm in therapy. I try new things. But doing things alone just doesn't give me that much joy. I feel immensely better just sitting with someone and talking rather than doing any activity on my own.
