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Can’t simply let go of a better past

NAS80348

I’ve been feeling down for quite some time. Everything started going bad around the tail end of my senior year. It was sprung upon me that my family and I were to move across the country no questions asked (they disliked the place we were in). That meant leaving my gf, every friend I’ve ever known, every restaurant every memory etc. it is human nature to dislike change. It’s very uncomfortable. I had everything I had ever wanted. My dream school, my highschool sweetheart, dream job lined up, dream hobbies/activities etc. that was June of 2019. I never even got to say goodbye because we moved 3 days after I was handed my diploma. Most ‘friends’ blocked me or removed me based on rumors or lies people had spun to ruin my image. Moved to where I am and could not make friends that lasted. It was that way for awhile. Then slowly everyone started leaving me. New friends I had made revealed to me I was of no use as the semester was over and I was good for their study material. This went on for awhile and I eventually distanced myself from people especially people who became good friends. I met a group of friends my second and third year of college who I felt in place with. Eventually this became an untrue statement as I had been used, lied to, betrayed etc. these guys slept with the girl(s) I was speaking with at the time as if it was no big deal. I’ve lost so many friends I lost count. I’m not sure what I could have done to cause this outside of maybe a few instances with a few friends but it’s whatever. Now, I’m finishing up college within a few years (medical degree takes awhile) and I’ve lost all aspirations for improving myself. Since the events of 2019, I’ve contemplated and attempted suicide. I fantasize about it often seeing as I’m still here and absolutely miserable. I’ve been told that as a guy my feelings of depression (if i really do have it) are invalid because it stems from having to change my entire life and that that itself isn’t reason enough to be depressed or something. Alright I feel I’ve typed enough, I apologize if this has gotten quite wordy, I just was sick of thinking of all these words in my head and putting them down on something actually helped.

I’m not sure if the flair I chose was the right one

  • Hi, you are obviously very upset about lots of events since moving with your family in 2019. I think everyone feels upset and angry with past events from time to time but it isn't necessarily very useful because none of us can change the past. Knowing this fact doesn't of course just stop the thoughts but I have found CBT ACT a good way to distance myself from upsetting thoughts. If you say to yourself, I am noticing myself getting upset about those events or something simllar to that, it helps to distance yourself and to feel objective rather than be sucked into an endless cycle of ruminating. I have used this technique for my own anxiety and depression and find it amazingly useful. Perhaps you could look up CBT techniques and especially CBT ACT.