My view of reality is a bit deluded

I’m not an expert but I think that delusions don’t respond to the logical knowledge of the one deluded.  

I had my first derealization at fifteen.  It may have been a stressful time for me at school with exams and apparent bullying ; in addition the vicious tidal wave of puberty had arrived.  Looking back, my ASD may have played a part.  Whatever the reason, one dark November evening I felt the shock of the most appalling ‘insight’ into what I was and what everything meant.  I had the shocking ‘revelation. that all my perceptions were really just imaginary concoctions of my brain.  
It was as if up to that point I had unknowingly relied on a sense of ‘being looked after’ but now I had just found out that anything that might have kept me safe didn’t exist after all.  

You are as real as I am but my body is more real to me than yours.  
Your words on my phone screen are the only representation of you to me.  I am literal in my perception so I am not getting the literal feeling version of you.  You feel your heart beat, you sense your feelings.  I have to work on logic as my guide not my literalism. 

I keep a video diary of good and bad days.  I make a special effort for the ‘neutral’ and good days because my default is to perceive the negative

I’m not an expert but I think that delusions don’t respond to the logical knowledge of the one deluded.  

I had my first derealization at fifteen.  It may have been a stressful time for me at school with exams and apparent bullying ; in addition the vicious tidal wave of puberty had arrived.  Looking back, my ASD may have played a part.  Whatever the reason, one dark November evening I felt the shock of the most appalling ‘insight’ into what I was and what everything meant.  I had the shocking ‘revelation. that all my perceptions were really just imaginary concoctions of my brain.  
It was as if up to that point I had unknowingly relied on a sense of ‘being looked after’ but now I had just found out that anything that might have kept me safe didn’t exist after all.  

You are as real as I am but my body is more real to me than yours.  
Your words on my phone screen are the only representation of you to me.  I am literal in my perception so I am not getting the literal feeling version of you.  You feel your heart beat, you sense your feelings.  I have to work on logic as my guide not my literalism. 

I keep a video diary of good and bad days.  I make a special effort for the ‘neutral’ and good days because my default is to perceive the negative