My younger brother (28M) has had troubles with personal relationships all through his life. He had behaviour problems as a kid, and hasn’t maintained many long term friendships as an adult. Tonight he had a mental breakdown and my mom called me at midnight to help. He had gone to a show with some people and came home belligerent. He didn’t know where he was, and kept saying he wanted to go home (he was at home, he thought he was at a stadium).
I rushed over and talked to him on the floor of the bathroom. He is broken. He feels like a failure and a burden and said he doesn’t want to live anymore because he is so unhappy. He said he struggles with social situations and extreme anxiety and constantly feels like he is acting. He is extremely personable and helpful in everyday life, but he made it clear that he doesn’t feel like people really know who he is. He is people pleasing and puts others needs ahead of his own. I don’t think he has ever been able to talk to somebody about his feelings like this before. I have felt similarly in the past, but with medication and a bunch of therapy have begun to feel more normal. I let him know that I too have struggled with major depression and anxiety and therapy and medication has helped me. He has agreed to let me schedule an appointment with his doctor but is very reluctant to talk to a therapist saying “I don’t think I can”.
I feel like I have failed him as his older sister and didn’t support him when he was younger. Our family is extremely dysfunctional which has caused depression in myself and each of my three siblings. My heart hurts for him and I don’t know what to do to help him find out who he really is instead of constantly putting on an act for others.
Please help.