Am I really defiant? I don't mean to sound like that I have Oppositional Defiant disorder, but I am against authority, but only if authorities are wrong.
Am I really defiant? I don't mean to sound like that I have Oppositional Defiant disorder, but I am against authority, but only if authorities are wrong.
That's a tough one. Have you an example? But, I'd concur that if you are asking, it's suggestive that there's some thought before you act here...
As far as I can see ODD would mean you are always picking the argument and refusing to comply for apparently the sake of it, albeit their would be psychological vulnerabilities underneath that.
But defiance and opposition are not per se bad things. No social injustice, prejudice or abuse of authority would ever be challenged or corrected if somebody, somewhere wasn't prepared to be the brave soul who stands in opposition to that and defies authority. No human rights would ever be won, nor the human condition ever improved. And trouble is, when a person stands in opposition to great wrong, the system demonizes them as the opponent; Nelson Mandela spent decades in prison, for instance.
However, when dealing representives of institutions; authority figures, it can be a challenge as autistic people to work out their intention and motive. Is it that this person is incompetent or abusing their power? Or is it that they are caught within a system that they actually don't like but are genuinely trying to do their best within? Is it that, actually, they have a point we haven't understood?
Authorities make mistakes. They can blame you for their inadequacy. They can also be trying to do their best with poor resource. And they can be right. The fact that you add: "only when they are wrong", shows some genuine intent to tease that apart, but you might be missing some clues to tell you when to oppose something and when to comply. It might be you need to start by getting them to explicitly state their reasons and intentions and take moment to think through their logic. Is it something you can negotiate with them about or should you just refuse? Sometimes it's a though call.
It's not for us to say you do or don't have ODD, we aren't qualified to diagnose. But if you don't, it could be you have an autistic fire for justice (good thing) combining with an autistic difficulty in understanding the other (tricky thing - but you can work out some strategies around that).
I always used to say to my son as a teenager: "learn the rules, then break them", meaning learn what they are and why they are there, then decide which you should obey and which ought rightly to be broken. But that should be a cold, sober moral choice, irrespective of our emotions.
If you don't feel it fits, maybe you should challenge the diagnosis.
That's a tough one. Have you an example? But, I'd concur that if you are asking, it's suggestive that there's some thought before you act here...
As far as I can see ODD would mean you are always picking the argument and refusing to comply for apparently the sake of it, albeit their would be psychological vulnerabilities underneath that.
But defiance and opposition are not per se bad things. No social injustice, prejudice or abuse of authority would ever be challenged or corrected if somebody, somewhere wasn't prepared to be the brave soul who stands in opposition to that and defies authority. No human rights would ever be won, nor the human condition ever improved. And trouble is, when a person stands in opposition to great wrong, the system demonizes them as the opponent; Nelson Mandela spent decades in prison, for instance.
However, when dealing representives of institutions; authority figures, it can be a challenge as autistic people to work out their intention and motive. Is it that this person is incompetent or abusing their power? Or is it that they are caught within a system that they actually don't like but are genuinely trying to do their best within? Is it that, actually, they have a point we haven't understood?
Authorities make mistakes. They can blame you for their inadequacy. They can also be trying to do their best with poor resource. And they can be right. The fact that you add: "only when they are wrong", shows some genuine intent to tease that apart, but you might be missing some clues to tell you when to oppose something and when to comply. It might be you need to start by getting them to explicitly state their reasons and intentions and take moment to think through their logic. Is it something you can negotiate with them about or should you just refuse? Sometimes it's a though call.
It's not for us to say you do or don't have ODD, we aren't qualified to diagnose. But if you don't, it could be you have an autistic fire for justice (good thing) combining with an autistic difficulty in understanding the other (tricky thing - but you can work out some strategies around that).
I always used to say to my son as a teenager: "learn the rules, then break them", meaning learn what they are and why they are there, then decide which you should obey and which ought rightly to be broken. But that should be a cold, sober moral choice, irrespective of our emotions.
If you don't feel it fits, maybe you should challenge the diagnosis.
not
understanding
because we do understand it
but observing,
we struggle to spot and discern when others do not behave justly and lawfully
