Published on 12, July, 2020
I am not a sad person. I am not a happy person. I have anxiety and depression. My anxiety makes me feel like I shouldn't do anything because "what if x happens". My depression makes it so I have no interest or motivation to do things i love doing. Instead of doing anything that would help me, I absorb every form of media so that I don't have thoughts or think about anything that would trigger my anxiety. My depression makes me feel lazy and I won't clean the house or wash my hair or brush my teeth. I don't feel sad when I'm depressed. I just don't care what happens. There is a chemical imbalance in my brain so I don't get happy about most things. I'm learning to live with it but maybe I need medication for help.
I have had multiple bouts of depression, sometimes 'mild' according to the experts and treated with short term medication, maybe siimilar to your description here.
Other times more serious/'full on' with negative thoughts and a genuine intent/plan to self harm, so more intervention needed. So levels of depression/symptoms might vary?
But 'burnout' is new to me/I need to understand how this differs to some levels of depression.
Medication makes you more dipressed and doesn't work with Autistic minds. I've tried everything from centerline to matapaspen and refused rettilin for my ADHD due to the fact that when you come off it it makes you more dipressed and almost suicidal. I tried to take my life back when I was 21 for that Very reason I'm 29 now I can manage it better. Working out helps me and so does music adrenaline is also good for increasing dopamine levels too. But if you lack the ADHD and your just Autistic then adrenaline may not work.