Published on 12, July, 2020
I am not a sad person. I am not a happy person. I have anxiety and depression. My anxiety makes me feel like I shouldn't do anything because "what if x happens". My depression makes it so I have no interest or motivation to do things i love doing. Instead of doing anything that would help me, I absorb every form of media so that I don't have thoughts or think about anything that would trigger my anxiety. My depression makes me feel lazy and I won't clean the house or wash my hair or brush my teeth. I don't feel sad when I'm depressed. I just don't care what happens. There is a chemical imbalance in my brain so I don't get happy about most things. I'm learning to live with it but maybe I need medication for help.
True that especially when you gota fake smile for work and feel dead inside. They say repressing emotions is unhealthy but then when you exspress them they don't wana here or understand so really it's a catch 2022 depression is part of Autism they say or is it caused by the way society treats our kind instead. Bit of food for thought anyway. Chin up though could be worse. I've replaced self halming with tattoos now got those scars covered and when I feel low and need a dopemine boost I save up for a tattoo session and after that I feel pretty good. But I get tattoos aren't for everyone.