Published on 12, July, 2020
I am not a sad person. I am not a happy person. I have anxiety and depression. My anxiety makes me feel like I shouldn't do anything because "what if x happens". My depression makes it so I have no interest or motivation to do things i love doing. Instead of doing anything that would help me, I absorb every form of media so that I don't have thoughts or think about anything that would trigger my anxiety. My depression makes me feel lazy and I won't clean the house or wash my hair or brush my teeth. I don't feel sad when I'm depressed. I just don't care what happens. There is a chemical imbalance in my brain so I don't get happy about most things. I'm learning to live with it but maybe I need medication for help.
Feel free to disagree, but are you sure what you are suffering is actually depression, and not a burnout type of thing?
I have indeed been severely depressed in the past, and have used medication which helped me get out of it.
But a year or two ago I was suffering with burnout, and I only recognised that as such, as I was in the process of analysing myself prior to booking an assessment for Autism. I could identify that I had experienced many other episode in my lifetime.
I told my GP I had no motivation, no emotions, lack of interest in things I liked, didn’t talk, didn’t move, didn’t socialise etc. Automatically I was told I was depressed, and to start antidepressants. I explained I wasn’t sad, nor did 8 have any suicidal feelings, merely I was overwhelmed and couldn’t function.
As soon as I told my psychologist this, it was clear to him this was burnout, following a number of highly stressful situations. This made much more sense.
On a typical day, I just go about my business. I’m not feeling high and happy, nor am I ever very low or sad. I’m just middling, and it’s perfectly natural for me, and I feel fine like that. That’s my normal bass line. I don’t expect to be compared to a NT who is feeling low and sad and unemotional, because they would likely be experiencing a stage of depression.
What is burnout and how would I recognise it in my life?