am I burnt out or is it getting bad again

Hard to say isn't it when daily living comes with such contradictions. In many ways contradiction so defines people with ASD, and i feel there is a fertile area for research & restatement in this area. Its the counter intuitive way ASD people view so many things that is a main obstacle to being understood by the NT i feel. Well should that matter ofc, but it tends to as in study & work we'll be among the folks. It could be true to say that how well ASD people do out there at large, can depend on how we come to terms with our atypicality concerning these neural contradictions, & how we might smooth them out so that we are more compatible. The way the brain is wired probably guarantees that the place that processes the overwhelm, isn't the same as the overwhelm for instance. Thus in cognitive terms these are already separate assemblies of neuron's within us. These kinds of implicit aspect are matters that remain unsaid by young, but expressed explicitly by the more self aware. That in itself is quite a useful potential for those with young ASD, as maybe it gives insight into dilemmas going on emotionally. For that matter the distance between opposing feelings are certainly of the emotional regulation type. Thus it is well worth looking into ways to draw these emotional energies into less opposition. The trouble with meds is that they inhibit both assemblies. I'm not sure what the typical topographic concept of an anti d is in the minds of the average person. But meds certainly do not know how to conveniently deactivate one set of neurons so that others can perform without hinderance, they just subdue them all. And for example there are over 2 million neurons in the stomach alone. I'm interested to know if, in the cases where anti d's do seem to work well, that this correlates to that damping of all neural activity. Reason is it raises an inquiry related to a scale by which neurons optimise or not due to meds.

However - inner conflict very much is exhausting i find, and it is fair to say that neural distance between emotional state of equilibrium is an inner conflict affair. But is part of the human predicament, i.e we are designed to encounter incongruences, its just that ASD = far more than the fair share doesn't it ? I suppose in some ways ASD people are not over thinkers when going with the special interest processing that keeps us sane. But when we cannot avoid concentrating of emotional opposites like those we are over thinking. Maybe thats true or not, i'd trade placing aside emotions that have that inertia & label it over thinking if it were true.