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need some encouraging words

NAS79139

Hi

I was raised in a family with no love. We lost our dad years ago, and my mom has been hustling ever since. So much so that she has mistreated her body many times by developing unhealthy eating habits, which led to severe problems with her stomach. Today I have caught her eating poorly again and tried to reason with her. I said she should have spent more time eating properly instead of prioritizing work so much, maybe over herself and her family, that's why I became someone who has mental issues. The moment I mentioned myself, I got emotional and cried. And all she said was how much of a cry baby I am and walked away.

I hate how sensitive I am, it really really hurts, sometimes I just want to end everything.

Parents

  • The hardest thing is life is accepting that you cannot control other actions, you can support them to make a change but ultimately it's down to the individual themself.Trying to intentionally control or influence others' actions is wrong.

    You have to make the decision to either accept them the way they are or leave them to their destructive ways and just walk away.

    My mother is just as destructive, she has stomach issues and has heart disease and she is still smoking, consuming junk food and working a really inappropriate job. Yes i would like to her to stop and make good decisions to prolong her life but i also understand that my mother has been through some traumatic and this is the way she would ultimately like to spend her last remaining 4 years on her terms. 

    Yes it's painful, watching someone you care about destroy themselves. Your not over emotional, Your just not cold inside. Please don't change just be cautious of who you let see you that way.

    My mother also has a lot of mental health related issues and husband, my step father is domestically volatile but my mother is an enabler and i have to accept that she will also be that way. Finding away to retain and maintain a relationship where i don't get mentally, emotionally or physically hurt by her decisions is hard. I often feel like i have to be careful on informing her on certain aspects of my life. I don't like to keep secrets but not sharing certain information of where i am working or what my future plans and aspiration is just one way i keep myself safe from my step father and brothers. 

Reply

  • The hardest thing is life is accepting that you cannot control other actions, you can support them to make a change but ultimately it's down to the individual themself.Trying to intentionally control or influence others' actions is wrong.

    You have to make the decision to either accept them the way they are or leave them to their destructive ways and just walk away.

    My mother is just as destructive, she has stomach issues and has heart disease and she is still smoking, consuming junk food and working a really inappropriate job. Yes i would like to her to stop and make good decisions to prolong her life but i also understand that my mother has been through some traumatic and this is the way she would ultimately like to spend her last remaining 4 years on her terms. 

    Yes it's painful, watching someone you care about destroy themselves. Your not over emotional, Your just not cold inside. Please don't change just be cautious of who you let see you that way.

    My mother also has a lot of mental health related issues and husband, my step father is domestically volatile but my mother is an enabler and i have to accept that she will also be that way. Finding away to retain and maintain a relationship where i don't get mentally, emotionally or physically hurt by her decisions is hard. I often feel like i have to be careful on informing her on certain aspects of my life. I don't like to keep secrets but not sharing certain information of where i am working or what my future plans and aspiration is just one way i keep myself safe from my step father and brothers. 

Children
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