Hi all, hope this is the right place for this. I don't have a proper diagnosis yet (owing to an 18 month waiting list) but over the past couple of months I have done plenty of research and am now certain that I'm autistic.
I'm in my mid-20s now, and I have been taught for my entire life that my needs either do not exist or are a result of my selfishness. I keep thinking back to situations where the blame has been entirely on me, but I now recognise my actions were the result of unrecognised autism.
I'm not going to get a diagnosis or professional help for over a year, but every time I think about another incident or how much blame I've accepted for things that aren't my fault I get so frustrated that it brings me to tears.
I could have been so much better adjusted if somebody in my childhood had just recognised the signs. I still have extreme food aversions and I am unhealthy because of it. I don't know how much of me is me and how much is masking. And I don't have anyone I can really vent to either without feeling guilty (as I have been brought up believing my feelings are selfish).
Anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice?
