Guilt

Do you have secrets to confess? Did you do things in your past you cannot seem to let go of? 

We can experience a lot of misunderstanding, misperception. 

Sometimes we can feel guilty because we've been told we should even though we never had a chance to explain ourselves. That's a bit cruel and harsh. I was once told there is a difference between Remorse and Mourning what one didn't know. 

I've done things I wasn't capable of doing otherwise. Not paying attention to a door being left open, but also left undiagnosed, overlooked and completely withdrawn from abuse. My head a fog from being malnourished. Clumsy, unintentional, a lack of awareness, and as one person remarked, with a "trail of demons following me". Slowly as I found help and was old enough to leave home and extract myself from sociopaths and recognise humans I shouldn't allow myself to be around, I started growing, finding my ground, learning about personal agency and how to make better choices. 

It's OK to wish we hadn't done certain things. And the best way to break feeling helpless and trapped is to learning to do the opposite or to learn one new way over a period of time to turn our life into something we envision. At some point, hopefully, you can identify and let go of what isn't guilt and feel forgiven for what is. 

Just some stuff here for anyone interested. Who knows... you might be a cereal something-oh-path :) 

Let my dad down 

Can't cope with the guilt

Is he still alive? 

Have you done this before?

How does this exchange operate. Does he tell you he's upset?

I got the kitchen sink leak fixed and I now have hot water

Got help from a charity helping those on low income

Not much help with house but I did for e myself out into socialising

Went to my sci fi meetup group on Saturday evening 

Felt good now I'm scared again

Have you got some help with your practical issues now?

Hope so. Next step, will be getting you out and about

Vision: Without a vision we just somewhat disintegrate. But how to envision a thing? Do you have a 'dream' version of yourself? Being fully you and living a life which you admire? Are there other individuals in your life who have values and principles you respect and consequently, their lives are (not perfect but) somewhat grounded? It's important to dream or be open to envisioning who we might be. This could be a spiritual process - whatever that might look like for you.

Intent is like creating a blueprint or map and then designing how to become this person. We can only do so much at once, so it's key to create immediate and long-term goals. Immediate ones which are attainable and long-term which maybe seem a bit out of reach but align with who you desire to be. 

Means - or resources. This includes making time and having finances.

I know you mentioned your dad passed away only recently. We all have our own timing. Do you have any relatives or distant family you might be able to connect with? That might be a start. Learn to invest slowly and with appropriate boundaries with 1-2 humans you have a connexion with. Good relationships take a long time to grow. 

Years ago I heard this talk on how to get from (where it sounds like you're maybe at) to a better place in life. The key elements were: Vision, Intent, Means.

I'm just scared all the time 

I'm on my own abd I've never been on my own 

I'm worried so much I feel my brain Will explode

I'm sorry. That sounds heartbreaking. I wouldn't want my son to feel like this if I died. He didn't ask to be born. So he just makes me happy by existence. But it's also not his job to make me happy, it just happens to be a consequence of having kids.

There seem to be a flurry of posts on this from you and if I can suggest, one step toward feeling less 'in pieces' might be creating just one thread. There's a whole community here and a collective of people willing to engage. A whole page of connexions rather than a few in bits scattered about may help. It's like having one massive Easter egg rather than a few small ones occasionally. I don't know. Sometimes small things like a focused huddle over a thing as important as this can help.

I was just a crap son I didn't mean to be but I was

Do you want to be specific about what happened? Or is it hard to explain.

Would you like help not doing this thing which you then feel guilty for? Or is it something else.

Do you want to be specific about what happened? Or is it hard to explain.

Would you like help not doing this thing which you then feel guilty for? Or is it something else.

I got the kitchen sink leak fixed and I now have hot water

Got help from a charity helping those on low income

Not much help with house but I did for e myself out into socialising

Went to my sci fi meetup group on Saturday evening 

Felt good now I'm scared again

Have you got some help with your practical issues now?

Hope so. Next step, will be getting you out and about

Vision: Without a vision we just somewhat disintegrate. But how to envision a thing? Do you have a 'dream' version of yourself? Being fully you and living a life which you admire? Are there other individuals in your life who have values and principles you respect and consequently, their lives are (not perfect but) somewhat grounded? It's important to dream or be open to envisioning who we might be. This could be a spiritual process - whatever that might look like for you.

Intent is like creating a blueprint or map and then designing how to become this person. We can only do so much at once, so it's key to create immediate and long-term goals. Immediate ones which are attainable and long-term which maybe seem a bit out of reach but align with who you desire to be. 

Means - or resources. This includes making time and having finances.

I know you mentioned your dad passed away only recently. We all have our own timing. Do you have any relatives or distant family you might be able to connect with? That might be a start. Learn to invest slowly and with appropriate boundaries with 1-2 humans you have a connexion with. Good relationships take a long time to grow. 

Years ago I heard this talk on how to get from (where it sounds like you're maybe at) to a better place in life. The key elements were: Vision, Intent, Means.

I'm just scared all the time 

I'm on my own abd I've never been on my own 

I'm worried so much I feel my brain Will explode

I'm sorry. That sounds heartbreaking. I wouldn't want my son to feel like this if I died. He didn't ask to be born. So he just makes me happy by existence. But it's also not his job to make me happy, it just happens to be a consequence of having kids.

There seem to be a flurry of posts on this from you and if I can suggest, one step toward feeling less 'in pieces' might be creating just one thread. There's a whole community here and a collective of people willing to engage. A whole page of connexions rather than a few in bits scattered about may help. It's like having one massive Easter egg rather than a few small ones occasionally. I don't know. Sometimes small things like a focused huddle over a thing as important as this can help.

I was just a crap son I didn't mean to be but I was