Is there anyone else out there that has both of these? I really need someone to talk to because I’ve just come down from a bad manic episode and as a result of it I feel incredibly messed up and guilt ridden. My mum says it’s not my fault or the real me but I worry that the bipolar me is my repressed inner self. I can’t look at my family the same anymore because I said some really bad things.
Hi there, this episode was unusual for me because mine usually happen in the Sumner. I need to fix my sleep schedule too. I feel too tired to do much most of the day but then I can’t fall asleep easily at night partly because of the pressure I put on myself.
If you can, plan one thing a day to Self-Care. Find a book from the library, perhaps. Find things to immerse yourself in and be creative. I would suggest take a pregnancy multi-vitamin if you 'splurge' on anything. Your health and well-being is worth this and your ability to care for yourself will be of considerable impact on your baby :)
I really relate to this. I've been in some sort of (depressive?) episode recently I think (always happens in spring) and I've not only been having panic attacks and felt pretty miserable, I've also been having meltdowns every day and totally unable to handle anything unexpected (even things put away in the wrong place.) Thanks for the kind words too. It's good to know we are in it together. It's pretty rough.
I should note that I'm also pregnant right now so even if I wanted to go back on medication or try something new it's pretty limited. Have you found any lifestyle changes or other strategies that have helped at all? I'm working on establishing a better routine and sleep/wake cycle.
That was not the real you and your mum is very wise.
Someone very lovely, close to me had a psychotic episode and was the anti-Him a while. We've forgotten now he's well. We know the real him. He has nothing to feel guilty or responsible for, he was temporarily unwell.
You have nothing to be sorry for - you weren't well. Now you are better. Those who love you have already forgotten and never blamed you anyway x
Yeah I do have a really powerful mind but unfortunately this is the ultimate double-edged sword. I can kind of hypnotise myself and can kind of make everything feel like a win/win situation. I’ve been really eager to explore this for a while now but I’m scared that this is remnants of mania and me not being able to come to terms with how mundane the real world is.
This could be Alice in Wonderland Syndrome (I actually have that) which is some interesting thing the brain does to warp space + time. It literally goes timey-wimey LOL
This could be from a very heightented hyper-sensory awareness which is in desperate need of training/mentorship/proper disciplining - only because if you don't it can get out of hand. I hate to use the analogy of super heroes, but in most movies if they don't get their 'powers' under control, the powers begin to control them.
I feel the questioning life bit, though. Existentialism was a catalyst for my actively seeking philosophy, theology, metaphysics.
I might still see if there is a way to check up this little nugget in our brain desciphering reality form fantasy. But even still, seeking out better ways of being and becoming with grounded principles can always help. If anything we all need clarity and some kind of transformation of the things which go on in our mind. And sometimes this is a good reason for seeking spiritual principles and encountering the Nous (a good start for even a solid mind in tact when questioning life and reality). Have a search into some of these and see if things resonate.
I've found yoga and oddly, theatre training, incredibly helpful in learning basic listening skills to sharpen and focus my hyper-sensory abilities.
Even when I’m not manic I often question reality and life but I am grounded enough to not do anything so drastic. I think I might have some form of depersonalisation. My reflection/photos of me seem like a different person. Sometimes I become hyper aware of my own voice and it feels like somebody else talking. I experience freezes which could be a sensory overload but sometimes I feel like I just become so aware of my own body and mind that it doesn’t feel natural anymore. You know if you think too much about how you are breathing it doesn’t feel natural anymore? I kinda experience there but with everything :/
Oh wow. I'm sorry to hear this. There's a little component in our brain which helps us distinguish between fantasy and reality.
I believe there is a drug which has been created to help regulate that. I don't function well with out an assortment of supplements. My system is a bit wobbly in different ways. I think many of us here need something to help our human selves.
Perhaps if you were able to feel a bit more grounded, and could get the proper treatment for this, you wouldn't end up feeling guilty.
I'm not a doctor by any means, but I wonder if this isn't something different than Bi-Polar. It would be good to speak with the therapist who diagnosed you and explain what you've stated here. Or, even someone else who could properly assess.
I get sick even smelling salad; a major issue when trying to eat healthily.
I have Vitamin C and D supplements; from Holland and Barrett. May also require Vitamin B supplements, too; for energy.
Well there seems to be a recurring theme in my episodes where I think I’m lots of different people and that social media and live in general are almost a video game. Yh it’s as bad as it sounds :/ It’s honestly a miracle that no real harm has been done. I told my mum I wanted to kill her because I thought I was almost reading a movie script and I urinated all over my room because I didn’t think my bladder was real. Half the time I think I’m a robot too. Man I’m really screwed up :/
What happened exactly? What did you respond to? It's hard to know what to suggest. On one hand, you might need anti-anxiety medication to think through a problem so it's not overwhelming. This drug can help you re-design being in that problem and learning to see the signs of it so to avoid it in the future. You might need help understanding how to identify hyper-sensory triggers. Or learn about using mental and physical boundaries with others who are constantly crossing yours and making you feel unsafe. All of these suggestions could be things to research on your own as well, to see if something begins to resonate.
There can be external factors which create triggers. There can also be learned perspectives, beliefs and perceptions which might be perpetuating a problem or several. When I was younger, I was engaging with the world in the only way I knew how. But these learned ways of 'doing' life were allowing me to be in abusive situations. I didn't know how to assert boundaries or remove myself from disrespectful people. What's more, I would give more of my self than the situation required and then I would suffer feeling a certain amount of imbalance or unfairness. I needed to learn how to be very choosy with who I allowed myself to be vulnerable with. Eventually I came up with a system of classifying individuals into categories that helped me understand how close they would emotionally be allowed to connect. If one thinks of oneself like the Sun, with a set of planets like our solar system, most people in my immediate world are somewhere between Saturn to Pluto. There are satellites who come close in and out of my life and I only see them every 10 years maybe. Then I have 2 close friends, 1 I feel more like a big sister to. My family is mostly somewhere between Earth and Jupiter. This makes it clear what I keep hidden and maybe selfish with and what I share. I had to learn the hard way that the wrong individuals like to use vulnerabilities against us. I don't know why but I don't allow myself to be close to these types any more.
When I read The Artists Way around 20, I learned things about how humans engage with one another I'd never considered. Things which I didn't know existed and were draining my well-being. It can be crucial to work out if our biology is being affected by a lack of - or the wrong - nutrition. For instance, I cannot digest grains, legumes and brassicas. That's basically the Vegan diet. There's nothing wrong with this diet, but it's not right for my genetics. Everyone needs the right nutrition. without it, we can experience 'brain-fog' or the body's chemistry responsible for balanced hormones can be off which might cause depression.
Thinking about cause and effect is important. Also, it's good to note that being Bipolar isn't 'mine' nor is Autism. There is a Trend to "own" our characteristics or personality traits, but these are not those. Autism is another version of Human. Many individuals can experience the same shared symptoms (bipolar) or shared ways of Being Human (autism). I say this because sometimes just the impact psychologically of saying 'my' disability can create a hidden element of separation and isolation we don't always realise. Isolation is the Number One cause of addiction and every other downfall. It can be important to find one thing you like around a group of others who share this and just commit to a meet-up once per week.
Hi NAS79281, I am sorry to hear this. You may like to have a look at the mental health section of our website which has useful links to information and advice about a range of mental health issues: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health.
The information on this page may be of particular interest: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/bipolar-disorder .
Also it could be that this mental health charity could help you: https://www.bipolaruk.org/.
Best wishes,
Anna Mod
Thanks for the reply, although I’m not really sure how to respond. Do you have any recommendations for people struggling with their bipolar. I’m having my medication reviewed but I’m struggling a lot mentally with the aftermath of this recent episode.
Oh goodness.
Melting down is normal for autistic individuals in a society that we feel arrested or assaulted by. Sensory overload from external material or external emotional/psychological sources (humans) can leave us feeling unprotected and overwhelmed. I personally have a feeling bi-polar responses are caused by being autistic.
Be cause we feel things intensely, the response can be just as intense.
It’s important to remember that it sounds like this isn’t how you want to be or feel. In order to not feel this way, I had to learn to begin to assess what Would trigger me in such a way that I felt out of control. I remember interruptions were a big one. And in order for anyone to begin to grow or become better we need a safe, uninterrupted space. We need to seize time for ourselves to heal. To be creative and breathe. This is a start.
Ideally you can get to a place where you’ll be able to say “I love you all and I need to exit before this takes a turn for the worst. Will emerge when I have a better capacity to cope.” And then exit. Sort through your thoughts.
Getting here though? It’s difficult. And it’s much easier when everyone in your immediate family shares the same values.
