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Struggling without a diagnosis

LM2022

Hi. I am currently waiting for my assessment after months of back and fourth confusion with my local nhs clinic. I believe I am now (maybe lol) on the waitlist but wont have my triage appointment until October (again maybe haha)... I am currently in my 2nd year at uni and am having an incredibly hard time that just seems to be getting worse and worse. I am having big time imposter syndrome that if I am not autistic, then what is going on. I am finding general life incredibly hard to function in at the moment and am finding myself fantasising about it just being over, life is exhausting and I just don't know what to do. I am really struggling with sensory overload at the moment and frequent shutdowns, which nowhere and no one seems to be particularly accommodating for, which is relentlessly exhausting. This has been my whole life, and now in my 20s I don't know how much more I can take without the support after an official diagnosis. but even then I know a diagnosis doesn't solve the issues I have. So then is this just my life? I cant see my experience improving and I just don't know what to do or who to talk to. I speak frequently with a mental health nurse but she is pursuing anxiety // medication, which to me has become increasingly apparent it is the fact I am autistic. 

Parents

  • Hello there.

    Reaching out and asking a question is a huge step to take, so hats off for doing so and being so proactive. It may not seem like much, but it’s a brave thing to do. I have found this community to be very helpful, so hopefully you will too.

    I might not be much help, but I can relate to a lot of what you have written here. The part where you mentioned imposter syndrome and and if isn’t down to being autistic then what is it/ what happens next is something that I can really relate to. In fact, in the end I mentioned it to the people diagnosing me due to the amount of anxiety it was causing me. They said to me that if ever that was the case with individuals, they weren’t just going to leave them in limbo or end things without recommended next steps. If they didn’t think I was autistic, they were going to offer tailored next steps etc. That did help ease some of my worries, as the wait times leading up to the diagnostic process was significant and I was worried about having to start it all again if the answer was not quite what I’d expected it to be. Perhaps speaking to the team when you reach that stage might help you too? Or even contacting them in advance to see if they have any resources available to ease some of your anxieties might help.

    In the mean time, do you have access to student support services or a team that can advise you on the basis that you are awaiting a diagnosis? I don’t know if you could speak to a student union rep or someone in an advisory position to point you in the right direction of someone to talk to. I turned to a lecturer who was my tutor when I was facing difficulties at university and they were able to point me in the right direction. I’m sorry that this is a little vague, but it’s been a while since I’ve been at university and this isn’t an area of expertise for me. I’m just asking a few questions in the hope that it could be a starting point possibly? 

    Hopefully others will be able to give some advice or ask questions to prompt reflection too- people are great at seeing things from lots of different view points here. Sometime the mods send links to relevant pages on the NAS website that could possibly help too.

    All the best

Reply

  • Hello there.

    Reaching out and asking a question is a huge step to take, so hats off for doing so and being so proactive. It may not seem like much, but it’s a brave thing to do. I have found this community to be very helpful, so hopefully you will too.

    I might not be much help, but I can relate to a lot of what you have written here. The part where you mentioned imposter syndrome and and if isn’t down to being autistic then what is it/ what happens next is something that I can really relate to. In fact, in the end I mentioned it to the people diagnosing me due to the amount of anxiety it was causing me. They said to me that if ever that was the case with individuals, they weren’t just going to leave them in limbo or end things without recommended next steps. If they didn’t think I was autistic, they were going to offer tailored next steps etc. That did help ease some of my worries, as the wait times leading up to the diagnostic process was significant and I was worried about having to start it all again if the answer was not quite what I’d expected it to be. Perhaps speaking to the team when you reach that stage might help you too? Or even contacting them in advance to see if they have any resources available to ease some of your anxieties might help.

    In the mean time, do you have access to student support services or a team that can advise you on the basis that you are awaiting a diagnosis? I don’t know if you could speak to a student union rep or someone in an advisory position to point you in the right direction of someone to talk to. I turned to a lecturer who was my tutor when I was facing difficulties at university and they were able to point me in the right direction. I’m sorry that this is a little vague, but it’s been a while since I’ve been at university and this isn’t an area of expertise for me. I’m just asking a few questions in the hope that it could be a starting point possibly? 

    Hopefully others will be able to give some advice or ask questions to prompt reflection too- people are great at seeing things from lots of different view points here. Sometime the mods send links to relevant pages on the NAS website that could possibly help too.

    All the best

Children
  • in reply to Oakling

    Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. It is very comforting to know others have had similar experiences. I have spoken to a few people at uni, but unfortunately, as understanding as they can be, they can not really do anything in regards to accommodations without the diagnosis (which seems really harsh to me). It is also  quite daunting to approach some lecturers/tutors... may I ask how you broached the subject?

    thank you again :)