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Bipolar disorder-feeling helpless as not sure what to do

NAS78748

My brother 24, has been suggested to have bipolar disorder. He is 24 years old and he is living with my parents. My mother and my sister are taking care of him currently and I am supporting them from here in UK.

His problems:
1. Grandiose delusions- he believes he has the ability to invent something so huge that people are tracking his moves
2. Substance addiction- although now moderate he was addicted to weed, which he has now replaced with cigarettes and alcohol. He believes he is so much in stress that he deserves to have these mood-altering substances
3. Not sure if this is the result of his condition or just a bad habit- he doesn't earn yet but has loads of demands which he believes are very considerate. He always has a lits of demands and he knows how to blackmail us when we deny. For instance- asking money for alcohol & cigarettes.
4. He is completely unaware of his mental health issue- He believes we all are destroying his life by interfering in his life. I am aware of this part of the mental illness- read a bit about anosognosia

My concerns are:
1. I have read that it would be difficult for him to ever accept that he has a problem and he should take medicines for his whole life. I and my mother/sister are trying to accept that so we don't keep on educating him and pushing him away. How do we get him to take medicines for some other complimentary reasons? I am guessing if a counselor can help us find a way for that.
2. I wish someone could train us on how to talk with him virtually- read about reflective listening but not sure how to put them in practice. For instance- I know we should listen to him but not interfere or control him. But if we don't interfere then he might get addicted to the substance again which will deteriorate his condition and not taking medicines is anyway making this worse
3. just some suggestions on how to tackle each problem as they all are different but the person is the same

  •  I have bipolar disorder Type I, and talk about it openly both when teaching about psychiatric disorders and in general (as you can see...). Having bipolar disorder has had an immense impact on where I am and what I am doing (and probably vice versa). Some of those have been positive impacts, some negative. It continues to guide the choices I make in my career. For example, I am less tolerant of stressors than many around me, so [Removed by Moderator] I tend to avoid higher stress activities.

  • Hi NAS78748,

    I am sorry to hear this.  Perhaps this mental health charity could help you.

    https://www.bipolaruk.org/ 

    Suzanne Mod

  • I have a friend with bipolar we've been mates over 50yrs now since we started work together. Even then everyone in the office thought he was odd, When he was always asking me to go 'clubbing' in town, the women in the office warned me he was gay. So much of what you've written could be written about him.

    There have been times he'll phone up to 10  times a day. Certainly 2 or 3 times is usual, each time he says he hss 60 mins on his phone so  can be on an hour. But he says nothing, we could have an hours silence. I ask why have you phoned and he says he wants to talk, but doesn't know what to say. Ask any question you get the same answer, i don't know, i can't do that  I've told him to go for help he says, i can't do that.

    I've spoken to his wife, she says she doesn't love him, she doesn't even like him, but she worries if she left him, he'd never ever be able to manage. He met her about 35yrs ago, she wasn't his type but they've been together. When we use to go clubbing he wouldn't talk or get a girl up to dance unless she was a page 3  type model. His wife is nice but definitly not that. Before he met Val, he was living with his Mum who died, He sold the family house and went living in dockers cafes, on the dock rd.  After onlly a few weeks he found a new mum to look after him.

    I feel guilty now, i've put up with him for 5oyrs, longer than anyone, but as i've got older, and sicker, i just haven't the energy.  I tried doing what he does on the phone, said nothing, deathly silence for 60mins, An hour later wheni was in bed, the police came and kicked my front door down, he'd phoned them to say he thought something may be wrong Now i'm trying every call with the answers he gives me, say nothing except i don't know, i can't do that, how am i expected to know that.

    His wife.....( they've only recently married, last month ) is a few years older than him. she worries, if she was to die first, He doesn't even know how to make a cup of tea, and he could never go to a shop alone. But he won't go for help.