My anxiety is terrible and I don't know what to do about it anymore. I cannot handle the news at all. I'd had to stop watching it, which makes me feel so weak and pathetic. I get too scared to go to sleep, worried about being on my own, terrified about something happening to my children. I worry about small things like socialising, health and cleaning the house, to huge issues like climate change and social or political injustice. I get chest pains in the day and wake up in the night from terrible dreams, drenched in sweat with my heart pounding so fast and hard that I feel sick.
I tried to talk to the doctor about it a few years back and they were so dismissive and made me feel like the things I disclosed to them weren't a big deal. They actually used the words "and what do you want us to do about it?" when I said I felt really anxious and overwhelmed. I have changed doctors surgeries since then, and the doctors at the new place seem really nice and all, but I don't think I have the nerve to go back and open up like that again. Its so hard, especially when you have ten minutes to get across everything that's happening. Even if they did take me seriously I don't know what I want them to do. I'm not a fan of medication, especially as most of it can have horrible side effects.
Its effecting me physically too. I have terrible digestive problems, constant jaw pain, skin issues, migraines, joint stiffness and back and neck problems. All of which I have spoken to the doctor about both separately and together and have got mainly got shrugged shoulders. Of course, being anxious, I worry that all these things are signs of something scary that's being missed. I also don't know if it could be perimenopause. I am about the right age. I did suggest that last time I went to the GP, but when the doctor found it couldn't be full menopause yet she again just dismissed it saying, "well that's probably just the bit before menopause. That can last ten years or more. We can't do anything about that." But that's terrifying because it all feels like its getting so much more severe already.
I've tried stuff like exercise, meditation, self hypnosis, various things to reset the vagus nerve, several sessions of therapeutic yoga and I even went to a few sessions with a private counsellor a few years ago (it went terribly, he just sat there silently expecting me to talk and I didn't have a clue what to say, which proved both very frustrating and a waste of time and money).
If you are still reading, thank you. I don't even really know what I expect anyone to post here. Has anyone else been through this, or are you going through it? Have you found anything that helps? Did medication work or something else for you? Was my experience of counselling just rubbish or is that normal? Any advice or support would be welcome. Thanks
