I don't really know where to start with this, but I'll give it a shot.
My girlfriend has Asperger's and I love her for it. She's an amazing person and to me the bits of her which are "weird" or "abnormal" are the some of the bits I love most. But thats beside the point. Over the past few months, its become apparent that she really isn't very happy for a few reasons. She isn't at all happy with her friends, I think she feels like she doesn't fit in with them at all, and that none of them are really her friends. She's a really sociable person so she struggles with this a lot, as friends are really important to her and I think sometimes it leaves her feeling lonely and isolated. There are other things about her feeling bad about herself compared to other people, but we think it comes from the main issue with friends.
The other night we were talking about autism for whatever reason, and we accidentally stumbled across what might be causing all of this - masking. She says she's aware of what it is and knows that she does it, but only just drew the connection between masking and her feeling bad when we talked about it. She's talked to me before about feeling like she's lost who she is, which is a result of masking I think. She's told me that I'm the only person who sees her real self, and that at school she acts really different to try to fit in.
She's been masking since the age of 13 I think based on what she's told me, and says its really ingrained into her and sometimes she can't even tell whats her and what isn't. I guess we think that her friendship problems come from the fact that at school she behaves as somebody she isn't, and her friends are friends with that false side of her, so she doesn't feel at all like she fits in with them.
I just want her to be happy, and for everybody else to see the real girl who I love so much. if somebody can feel the way I feel about her, then surely there are plenty of people out there who can get on perfectly well with the real her without thinking she's weird or strange. I think she realises this, but as I said I think acting differently is so ingrained into her that she struggles not to.
So what can I do for her? What can I do to help her "unmask" and come to terms with herself, and show the world the real her? I just want her to be happy, so I'd really appreciate if people could give me advice about what I can do to help her.
Thank you so much for reading
