Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
What do you do when you feel like you don't enjoy the things you love anymore. I don't know whether its because of my Asperger's, because of COVID or of something else completely different. I'm really sorry but I don't feel like I can talk about this to anyone close to me. I haven't done anything music related since I graduated from unviersity, I hardly do anything outside of work, i.e. don't go out to places, meet up with friends as I barely know anyone outside of work. Also recently, I feel like I'm starting lose my other passion for books as well as I have barely read for the past week or so.
I feel like I'm stuck. Help
I feel this way most days and have done for years. I am a serial procrastinater. Mañana is my answer to most things.
I think this is partly the Aspergers, mostly it's burn out. You sound like you need a holiday with complete cut off from everything.
A couple of times a year I go off on holiday on my own and do what i want. Some years I ride my motorbike to random places in the country and explore and camp in a tent. I talk to people I want to or don't and basically just enjoy everything around me. Other times I go trekking for a week, walking 10-15 miles a day and camping. I take a phone with music, headphones and a rucksack with the usual stuff you take for trekking/camping (tent, food, clothes, etc). I don't go online except for online maps and online music, I don't do emails or social media while i'm away. I might talk to my family on the phone every couple of days to let them know im ok, but thats about it.
You sound like you need something similar. When you are re-energised, then go back to normal life.
If you need a break from work, ask your doctor. Tell him/her how you are feeling and that you think you are burning out and that it is taking a toll on you mentally. See if they will sign you off for a fortnight or month. Then go and disconnect from the world for a while.
Drug wise, antidepressants might help, but you might want to try St John's Wort first for a few days and see if that lifts your mood before you start going into the more hardcore end (sertraline, fluoxetine and the other SSRI's). St John's Wort is pretty mild in the grand scheme of things. I use it if I feel my mood is low and it generally straightens me out inside a couple of days. I never take it for more than 4 days. Not to mention its cheap and you can get it from Superdrug and many other health food shops. Worth a try if you want a mood lifter. Don't use it at the same time as SSRI's, or you will suffer the wrath of Serotonin Syndrome (as discovered by personal experience)!
You have no idea how much your message cheered me up. I will definitely try and arrange something for myself, like a city getaway or a hotel in the countryside.
I have been at this level for a while. I am going trekking after Easter, probably on the Trans-Pennine trail for a week or two. that should sort me out for a bit. Until then I just muddle on from day to day.
I hope you soon feel better.