Don't feel like I can connect with anyone, don't know where to go.

Not really sure how to start so I'll just be completely blunt. For longer than I can remember it has proven difficult, if not impossible to make friends and connections anywhere. My interests, particularly those oriented round singleplayer games, creative writing and home brewing I have noticed seem to be nonpresent in my local community and over time I don't think I have met anyone who shared these interests and wanted to listen to what I have to say. I can't even feel certain that I have had a worthwhile social interaction in years, with what little moments being fleeting and non-replicable.

As a result of this observation, it has been increasingly difficult reaching out to people. I get the feeling that most of the general public are just plain off limits either because I wouldn't care what they liked (which turns out to be a lot. I'm not a sports person nor do I care about most music on the radio among other things.) or they won't care what I like, it goes to the point where I go to social venues hoping someone else would make that first step since I would rather not waste my time and energy to be inevitably turned down or ignored by whoever I may reach out to. As a final addition to my point, I have tried several times to go to social events and venues where I may find like-minded folks but it is more of the same feeling of others not wanting to reach out.

I just don't know how to remedy the situation, every time I've spoken to someone about this all I get is a "shut up and reach out" which only makes things worse and CBT therapy has done very little to fix my feelings of loneliness and fixing the above situation. Also referred to a GP to try and get a more comprehensive diagnosis beyond just ASD has brought nothing. If there are any bits of advice or suggestions I could do that isn't the previously mentioned "shut up and reach out", it would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

- C

Parents
  • Hi C,

    I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. Lots of my hobbies are still a little bit niche, but there are a couple that I could get involved with others.

    As I see it I have 2 main barriers to making friends - Firstly common interests, Secondly is social confidence eg starting/keeping the conversation going, what to ask etc. and it sounds like you're in a similar position too. Since I joined this group I've been trying to force myself to relearn how to have discussions with people (I feel like I've really lost this over the last couple of years as I've been working from home and not had much contact with anyone outside of immediate family or work circles). It's good practice, and with the added benefits of anonymity and you can take your time to put together a response.

    Maybe start a new thread on brewing and see who else is interested? I've done a day course in brewing so whilst I can't claim it as a hobby I know enough that I could maybe keep the thread going with you until others see it and join in?

Reply
  • Hi C,

    I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. Lots of my hobbies are still a little bit niche, but there are a couple that I could get involved with others.

    As I see it I have 2 main barriers to making friends - Firstly common interests, Secondly is social confidence eg starting/keeping the conversation going, what to ask etc. and it sounds like you're in a similar position too. Since I joined this group I've been trying to force myself to relearn how to have discussions with people (I feel like I've really lost this over the last couple of years as I've been working from home and not had much contact with anyone outside of immediate family or work circles). It's good practice, and with the added benefits of anonymity and you can take your time to put together a response.

    Maybe start a new thread on brewing and see who else is interested? I've done a day course in brewing so whilst I can't claim it as a hobby I know enough that I could maybe keep the thread going with you until others see it and join in?

Children
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