Anxiety and refusal to wear clothes

Hi

This is my first post regarding my 8yr old non verbal autistic daughter. The last few months she refused coats , bottoms , cardigans and only wanted to wear tops and shorts. The school said this is part of her sensory issues ( she has been under OT since she was 4yrs old) 

But now  she is completely refusing to wear ANY clothes , she is naked. Every time we try to dress her , she screams , she is literally scared of clothes, her anxiety goes through the roof 

doesn’t want them anywhere near her , 

Because of this she has not been in school for the past 2 weeks , waiting for a CAMHS assessment 

anyone help with suggestions ?

  • sounds like a guy thing. but i like it. especially if she won't get sick.

  • Turn the heating down at home? It's cold, it's winter. But if her home is toasty she has no use for clothing. If it starts to get cold I think she'll quickly find one or two items she can tolerate. She'll probably wear these one or two items a lot so your next job is to figure out why and get tons of near identical items as you slowly turn the thermostat up. Oh and some autistic people are less sensitive to cold so be aware things might have to get quite uncomfortable for you before it effects her.

    I think it's possible you see that part of what's setting her off is the anxiety of having other people dress her as much as the clothing itself. So don't dress her. provide her with a range of options and let her dress herself. If she won't then you need to find ways to induce her that don't involve dressing her yourself.

  • That's interesting and funny.
    You're right maybe it's not that complicated at all. I hope so for you.
    We used to spend a lot of time picking clothes, and now that's what we do too: He picks. He wears the same 3 or 4 shirts and just regular jeans. None of those lined pants which I myself would love.

    I was about to throw some stuff out. But wait. He put on some different underwear by himself and he likes them! So glad about that. Please let us know how it is working out for you.

  • Maybe you could have her help you pick your clothes for the day. I'd put out a few different outfits. Then have her come in and help you pick something for you.

    Good idea.

    I think I saw something like this on Supernanny (fact check required) many years ago, there was a child they deemed "difficult" who wouldn't put clothes on and regularly used to greet visitors in the nuddy. They let the child pick their own outfits and because they had the freedom of choice, they quite willfully put the clothes on and kept them on all day.

    Perhaps this is more about the cycle of making choice and the gratification of doing so, (and not the compliance of having the decision made for them) more than the sensation of the actual clothes - as it isn't all clothes just some.

  • That sounds quite challenging. My son refuses a lot of clothes as well, but I haven't had this. I am wondering what caused it. Do you remember the last clothes she wore? What happened that day? Did she get a hair cut? Did you have a new detergent? Anything out of the ordinary.
    I know sometimes my clothes catch on my skin and it can cause a short painful sensation. Does she tolerate a blanket at night? Does she tolerate towels for drying? That could give you a hint. If she tolerates anything like that I would sew a  sleeveless short nightgown and go from there. If that works maybe add a few cm after a few days, but keep the seem outside.

    I overheat at night often and then wearing long sleeved clothing is like torture. That would scare a young girl too.

    My son is just about always hot. Even if it is subzero he doesn't wear more clothes. He overheats too. Although his feet become ice cold because he takes his socks off on the cold tile floor. I don't know what to do about it anymore either. He knows it cognitively that they're cold, but I don't think he feels it. I got carried away.

    Maybe you could have her help you pick your clothes for the day. I'd put out a few different outfits. Then have her come in and help you pick something for you. In that way you might learn what is more likely something she would tolerate in the future.

    I hope you will figure this out soon. Best of luck.

  • we can for our little peanut. 

    Awwwww I'm going to have to steal that name for my wee peach fuzz as that's really cute and I love pet names.

    My daughter and I have different ways of communicating other than talking because we are often exhausted with daily life as you will be all familiar with.  I'm sure you'll have looked into all different types of communication to reach your little peanut.  It's good that your daughter is showing you what she doesn't want even though it's tiring and upsetting for you.  I'm sure you'll also know her calm and happy moments too.  It is so tough being a parent especially when it's a guessing game as to what your child needs and likes.    I wish you all the best in finding what works for your little lady and you.  Sending big hugs.

  • Hi H

    thank you so much for your kind message and helpful suggestions. Our daughter is completely non verbal so this makes it even harder to establish her hatred for clothes.

    We have tried visual timetables , we also bought her Melissa and Doug magnetic dress up dolls but she just throws it and becomes very distressed. 

    I’m so glad to hear your strategies have been working on your daughter and we will continue to do what we can for our little peanut. 

    thank you again 

  • anyone help with suggestions ?

    Hi N,

    You are trying your best which shows you are a great parent who loves their daughter very much.  You are trying to contact the relevant people and have tried various fabrics etc to try to help your daughter with her distress.  Perhaps your daughter is scared of going out and knows that clothes mean there is a possibility of having to face the outside world?   Clothes themselves may also cause pain if her skin is hyper sensitive as you will know.

    Perhaps explaining that she won't be going but has to wear something might help?  She may be feeling more sensitive if she's having a hormonal surge or has had a virus?  I'm sure you've researched all of this but I find on a personal level and with my daughter who is diagnosed as Autistic, there are certain times where she finds it painful having her hair brushed. I understand feeling super sensitive and it's hard because others can't always see just how painful some things can be.

    Does your wee sausage like bed covers and blankets?  Does she enjoy baths/showers?  Does she enjoy warm towels after a bath?  

    I find clothes are more comfortable when they have been warmed in the drier.  Could it be a temperature thing with your daughter?

    I'm sure you've looked into all these things.  I guess it's about working out your daughters sensory pallet and building up from there.

    I found a visual timetable with everything written down meant my daughter would do things without constant prompts:

    • Get up
    • Make bed
    • Help make breakfast
    • Eat breakfast
    • Clear table
    • Mummy does dishes
    • Have shower and wash hair
    • Get dried and dressed

    Depending on your daughter, you can make it more simple or more detailed.  My daughters stress reduced significantly when I did this.  I was amazing.  We no longer do this but if she or I are stressed then I redo it so she can look at what happens and when without having to remember everything and with fewer surprises.  I found it hard because I tend to be more spontaneous but it stopped me having to remind my daughter verbally.

    Does your daughter have a favourite character who she could dress like at home?  Could you do a social story about a girl who couldn't wear clothes and how she overcame it? I find stories helped my daughter understand different concepts.  I am sure again that you've already done and thought of these things. :-)

    I really feel for you all and hope that CAMHS have helpful tips and that you are getting support too.

    Take care.

  • Thank you for your reply 

    we have cut all the labels , brought all different styles of clothing - loose fit / tight fit , plain colours, different materials , offered “bribes “ , given her a choice but she doesn’t want them near her - she just screams 

    We have done the brushing technique ( and the school ) still nothing 

    fingers crossed for CAMHS 

  • What are her favourite clothes and what do they have in common - a fabric, style, a print or a colour - anything like that? Is there any way you'd be able to reason with her and maybe ask her to select some items / point them out on the computer? I'd cut out all the labels too. They can be very itchy and upsetting. If the clothes feel too restrictive or tight that can also be a unpleasant sensation and she'd likely need to go up a couple of sizes to make the clothes roomy and breathable.

    I don't have children or any experience of working with children, but I've also got an issue with certain types of clothing so my recommendations are based only on my own anecdotal experience. My wardrobe is somewhat simply styled with comfortable fabrics and unfussy designs that are easy to get on/off - nothing tight around the neck and nothing sweaty.