Forum survival advice.

I've spent a lot of time on online forums of a controversial nature.

It turns out I'm rather good at surviving them, and simply getting along, whereas in the real world I'm not so good at social interactions.

Here, it seems people come and go far more often than on regular forums, and since this is a MAJOR resource for people of our disposition, I'd like to try and help the rest of you become better at it, like I am. So here's where a LOT of you are doing it wrong.

1: TAKE YOU TIME WITH THE REPLYING!! - Seriously, that's the number 1 thing you need to do! THE more urgent it feels to get in a reply the MORE you need to pause and reflect.

AND

2: TREAT EVERYONE HOW YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED! - Forget how they are seemingly treating you, and concentrate on treating them with the utmost respect, even when they patently do not deserve any.and are trying to mobilise other forum members or admin against you.  

Follow these rules and two things start to happen. 

A. The interactions go much better, and you take far less "psychological damage".

B. If someone is actually a complete twat, with a hurtful agenda, (and there are way too many of those, if you ask me) by not engaging in the way that they want their behaviour will become more overt, even to their "friends".

Please guys, remember, this is an OPPORTUNITY to represent yourself much better than you can manage in real time, don't end up having to throw it away because you find the forum too "toxic" to deal with.

We are Autists, with known communication difficulties, yet SOME OF YOU hold other people to very high standards indeed! What's that all about then?

When someone says something that riles you, you need to ask yourself first why does this annoy me so much? I always do that, (because if someone can annoy you, they can control you, and I'm wanting to be nobody's "beach" any more)  and sometimes I discover something about how my own mind works that perhaps I'd rather not share in public until I understand a bit more, so then staying quiet is better for me than "engaging". Trust me, there is ALWAYS time to post, there is NO RUSH.

Finally, (and I've had to do this, occasionally myself) when you identify a real nasty piece of work, who is actually "preying" on people, and you have taken time to be absolutely certain, then call them out on it in public with polite but unmistakeable language and shine a light on them. Nothing much might seem to happen immediately, but if you've correctly illuminated such a person for all to see, and your audience agrees, they won't survive long. They never do. 

But always, look towards your own behaviour first,  and if you see that you may have triggered someone who is clearly a lot mentally weaker, or more stupid than yourself, if you can see a way to pour oil on troubled waters, DO IT. 

I for example am naturally awkward and slow to get the point in real time. In addition having been a survivor of other peoples crapulence from as long as I can remember, (some people really take a dislike to me, and just GO FOR IT) so I'm full of rage and unpleasantness looking for a way out some days. On days when I realise that unpleasantness is strong in me, (On such days I find the cats or my partner annoying, and logic tells me that's simply "wrong") I simply don't come here!!

(I used to go to zero hedge and pick a fight with a random stranger when it was run as "Fight Club", but GOOGLE demonetised them until they removed the hatred, so that option isn't really available). What I really loved about having such a forum available was that after a few years I really got to see how ineffective hatred is for "making change". 

I learned that I want to utterly destroy certain IDEAS, and not the poor suckers caught up in them. And that's a whole new game with much more complicated and subtle rules, than simply having an argument with a stranger. 

I really hope some of you can understand this and "up your game a bit". The world out there is bloody unpleasant to us, here at least, we could extend each other some compassion and understanding.

Of course, if the admin could create a members only and not visible section entitled "fight club" or "deathmatch arena" (where those who would like to exercise the pugilistic keyboard warrior spirit in a very unsafe environment can do so without upsetting the gentle souls), then we could let the aggressive people and those of a strong disposition who wish to study or interact with them play it out, away from those who just want to learn to get along.

Of course, this is a dangerous strategy for some, but for some of us, seeing people freely express their horrible side makes us understand how those of us with a horrible side can appear to others. Most people find it looks banal and stupid after a while!

If a crappy little individual like me, can survive and thrive on the internet and even make real and good friends as I have done occasionally, and we are talking proper friends who will lend or even give me money or help when I need it, (I just wish I could get over to Europe to see the one I'm thinking of right now) then so can you.

But it starts with  learning to TAKE YOUR TIME and BE KIND AND POLITE.

It's as simple as that.